:: ShaPokoPoko ::

:: I LOVE HOLIDAYS!::

2012-02-01T15:44:00.005+08:00

Owh gambar kat atas ni menunjukkan aku tgh curious and tgh plan nak buat ape lagi 2 weeks cuti!

so here we go, Assalamualaikum people of the world! i think i will write a short entry since terlalu banyak info nak letak sampai tak tahu nak tulis ape LOL. during the hols, saya ade projek besar for the kenduri belah keluarga saya. i'm doing a photobooth session/ booth kat FRIM nnti. Everything is hand made okay!. from the background to the letters to the decos. aigoo. mane lah den tak demam. Saya dan kakak saya sgt semangat nak buat ini photobooth cuz it is something unique and we want to have fun with it for ourselves basically kuikuikui. since people know that i LOVE to take pictures of myself (and other people ofcourse) I basically handdrawn the template for the masks. and print out some wording and pictures to be traced back at the foam. (gambo nnt saye hapdet) I love working, i love keeping myself busy and i just prove to myself that I AM FREAKING WORKAHOLIC! i am and infact i think i love that side of me. bukannye susah pun buat bende2 ni just take time lah tu yang leceh sikit tu. all the cuttings i leave em to my sis cuz aku tak ske gunting2 sgt. tak sabar nak show to the world my master piece! jjang jjang! another 3 days nnt aku tunjuk kat angpa the photobooth session tu with the decos. you guys will love it! like i did :)

owh owh, during the nikah day at melaka, my family and i pi itu a'famosa lah nak usha the nite show, although for aku agak expnsive ticket die, tapi the grand animal show and the finale is the best! kitrg tgk fireworks jarak dekat woah! sgt mengkagumkan and aku and kakak2 aku mcm woah, wah, woah, wah hahahaha. ternganga mulut tngok depan2. so skrg saya suke fireworks! tapi tak suka orang main fireworks mlm2 dekat rumah time aku nak tido, bising hokeyh! nak main, main kat padang layang2 kat MRR2 sane tu. kawasan perumahan bukan untuk dis type of gangguan.

conclusion entry ni saya busy, saya suka amik gmbo, saya tgh gigih buat photo booth, saya suka fireworks! weee.

ps: im currently under the weather, so jgn call cuz takde suare. mesej je *wink!

next entry will bout.... wedding lagi rase nye. kot. maybe. kot lah =.=

:: Excited! ::

2012-01-20T06:10:00.002+08:00

Ye dalam sejam aku akan berada kat airport.

bersama beg2 ku.

membawa harapan yang besar,

untuk pulang ke kampung halaman.

weeee

orang lain semua dah sampai rumah.

aku je stuck kat kelantan kejap.

kena extend 2 hari kat kelantan pasal nak menjoli sebelum balik KL

owhhhh, i bought my mom, sisters and future sis-in-law a lil sumthing2

hehe jarang taw shapoko nak belikan orang hadiah.

skrg menunggu solat subuh.

pastu nak bersiap

and buat last check before menutup pintu bilik for 1 month.

now i now how it feel bler semua orang takdak.

sangat S.U.N.Y.I

will be updating the blog with much more infos and fun story.

tapi mungkin bukan everyday since balik rumah ade byk keje nak kena buat.

the ceremony is around the corner.

preparation is needed (from my side je orang lain dh sibuk prepare)

wokeyh dear readers

selamat bercuti, Happy Chinese New Year.

Its the year of the Dragon!

InsyaAllah kita bertemu lagi.

Salam muhibah dan selamat selalu.

SHAPOKO

saya lapar la

:: Tanya Sama Pokok ::

2012-01-18T10:43:00.002+08:00

:: Tanya Sama Pokok ::

Mungkin disebabkan mood cuti ni semakin memunjak especially hari ni, exam etnik ibarat takda or dah habis jawab. Mood study dah layu disisipkan dgn mood mengada-ngada nak usha 8 movie serentak. I wish etnik would be kind to me and my friends. Kami malas SIKIT je nak study awak sikit je. hehe. Okay back to the topic today, kenapa aku letak title Tanya Sama Pokok. Everyone in malaysia know this song rite? lagu zaman kanak-kanak teletubbies kita. Tapi main point kat sini bukan aku nak highlight lagu ni tapi nak ubah sedikit pendekatan ala-ala mcm lagu ni. Meh kita tanye sama hati.

Semua orang ada masalah hati tak kisah lah sakit hati ke, makan hati, busuk hati ke tapi yang majoriti kita semua ada is masalah jatuh hati. Jangan lah nak tipu awop tu takde masalah jatuh hati. If tak bukan dengan orang, dengan buku, camera, alam sekitar, music and so much more. General term for all of those are jatuh hati.

Tapi masalah jatuh hati yang semakin peak di kalangan students are jatuh hati nak kawin awal. Why? Mungkin pasal sekrang modern teenagers are more open to discuss about marriage and more importantly about the future. They already knew what they want and what they wanted to accomplish in 5 years time or atleast dah grad nnti. Ramai je budak2 kat USMKK ni yang dah berkahwin or atleast mengikat tali pertunangan. And ini secara tak langsung menjadi topik utama student2 USMKK especially the girls.

Ramai yang berpendapat kawin awl ni merugikan whether bout their youth or future. Tap ada jugak yang berpendapat kawin awal ni menguntungkan dan sweet sgt2. ayat femes last year 'untunglah~' Sebenarnya, if diberi peluang untuk kawin awal, memang hampir 60% nak grab the opportunity. Tapi knp mereka tak kawin awal, senang cita tak de calon yang seswai or memang takde calon langsung. If lelaki boleh meletakkan list untuk calon2 isteri solehah, perempuan juga begitu. Kami mengharapkan seorang hubby yang bakal menjadi imam kami, yang bakal menjadi guru kepada kami dan anak2, yang bakal menjadi arkitek membina bahtera rumah tangga kami (ecewah ayat TTB gler, adeh shapoko). Tapi thats the true. If lelaki boleh list down ciri2 wanita idaman untuk dijadikan isteri, kami juga mampu list down kan perkara2 yang serupa tapi biasalah perempuan list dorang ni lagi dasyat dari lelaki.

Meh kita bukak story baru tapi ade jugak kena mengena dengan soal hati ni. Ramai perempuan sebenarnya memendam perasaan if mereka ade suka seseorang. Perempuan ni kalau pendam perasaan memang payah sikit nak bagitahu kat si empunya badan. Tapi bak kate omputih 'action speaks louder than words'. kami mungkin tak tunjuk kat orang yang kami suka, yang nak wat statement 'ILY' scr terang-terangan. Ade orang yang perspektif dia based on agama especially agama islam. Macam aku nye prinsip 'bia aku pendam sorang2 sudah, if ade jodoh dia bakal tahu gak perasaan aku ni'. Ye kawan2, korang ingat aku ni jenis outspoken ke if melibatkan hati. NO WAY man! aku sgt takut dalam hal2 melibatkan hati ni. Takut kat Allah and takut kat hati tu sendiri.

Tapi aku sgt kagum dengan orang yang mampu berterus terang dkt si dia bertujuan untuk let go and move on, Meaning dia nak ape yang dia rasa sebelum ni direpresentasikan dalam bentuk words and action. And if dah lelaki tu tak suka, kita move on lah. Aku rasa benda luahan hati scr terus terang ni memudahkan ape yang complicated sgt dalam hati seorang perempuan. If betul the lelaki and the perempuan suka each other, bagus boleh nikah terus! if lelaki tu dah tak suka, perempuan tu boleh move on and try cari lelaki yang lebih bagus dari yang lepas (with self improvement ye kawan2). Aku dulu kagum dengan keberanian ex-roomate aku time first year. Bila dia ada suka kat seseorang je, dia bagi tahu secara terus terang. And honestly dia sangat berani menghadapi rejection. Ape korang ingat dengan ckp face-to-face bagitahu kat mamat yang orang suka tu korang suka dia, dorang terus accept dengan rela hati ke?

Ex-roomate aku ni before dia kapel dengan boifren dia sekrang, dia dah dalam 3 kali kena reject kot. If seingat memori aku lah kan. ye, dia kecewa sebentar tapi bak kate dia 'there are a lot of fishes in the water bebeh' So dia keep on mencarik the one sampai lah dia bertemu jodoh dgn boifren dia skrg. berbahagia lah ex-roomate aku dgn kekasih hati nya sehingga sekrang.

Tapi aku bukan nya mcm ex-roomate aku, aku adalah seorang yg sgt pemalu dlm bab2 hati ni. Aku tak daring and berani mcm dia. So, aku jenis yang pendam and dok layan perasaan sensorang. Aku maybe try approach orang yang aku suka tu tapi mungkin disebabkan faktor umur (umur? jengjengjeng) aku rasa ade gap yang aku tak dapat nak jadi same level ngan dorang. Yes, i admit i used to like younger guys (by a mean different of 1 years old JE)

Tapi sekarang disebabkan aku memikirkan soal future (esp kawin), aku nak carik yang tua dari aku. Bak kate sister aku, carik yang 5 tahun lagi tua.

Mungkin dorang akan igt aku ni childish, tapi macam mana lah korang ni nak tahu aku sebenarnya mcam mana if tak kenal dulu dengan aku. Kita kenal lah dulu, if rasa aku ni memang mcm ape yang korang rasa den fine jadi kawan je lah. Aku jenis yang if aku suka orang tu, if aku betul2 suka kat orang tu, if aku sgt2 betul and sahih suka kat orang tu, memang boleh smpai 2 to 3 years la suka kat orang yang sama. Tapi ape kan daya, suka scr senyap je lah since aku memang pemalu and tak daring mcm kawan2 aku yang lain.

Perit tu dah sinonim dalam soal hati aku ni, dah banyak dah aku rasa keperitan melibatkan hati dan perasaan ni. Betul lah kata pepatah 'if syg kan manusia, memang hati kita akan sentiasa sakit and kecewa. Tapi if sayang kan Allah, insyaAllah nikmat dia tak terhingga' Pasai tu lah kawan2 aku jenis yang pendam je, tawakal and senstiasa doa kat Allah to give me a person who can shape me to be a better person, wife and daughter.

Malam tadi dok berbincang dengan sahabat seangkatan yang satu kapal layar dengan aku, Faz. Dia cakap lah pendekatan kita untuk meluahkan perasaan ni bukanlah sesuatu yang buruk. Pasal dari pandangan dia, kita nak meluahkan perasaan untuk empty kan hati kita dari sentiasa ingat orang tu instead of The Almighty. Kita jadi lagha dan terperangkap dalam dunia sendiri dgn asyik igt kat lelaki yang bukan lagi sah jadi hubby kita. So lebih baik kita bagi tahu kat orang yang ktia suka tu, kita suka dia. If dia suak kita jugak, nikah je terus tak yah nak gatai2 kapel2. If lelaki tu tak suka kita, den takpe kita lupakan je dia and move on. Betul gak kate Faz ni, ade rationale dia gak. Dri kita dok simpan buat kimchi dalam hati ni perasaan yang tak menghalalkan ape2, baik kita admit je terus kat orang tu untuk memendekkan jurang masa pembinaan perasaan kita. hahha. adeh ayat aku berterabur. Aku paham lah ape yang kawan aku ni cuba cakap. Tapi di sebabkan aku dah ade habituation untuk memendam perasaan, memang amat sukar lah aku nak pakai teknik dia. Aku kan pemalu (tgn di bahu).

If diberikan keberanian dan kekuatan untuk memendung perasaan kecewa, aku seriusly akan pi admit kat orang yang aku suka tu, yang 'weyh, aku sebenarnya dah lame suka kat kau, kau ok tak? if kau suka kat aku, jom kawin!' hahahahaha. No seriusly aku akan buat mcm tu if diberi keberanian tapi not the exact word lah aku nak cakap kan. Gila ke nak cakap secara bold macam tu, malu weyh. Maruah aku sebagai seorang perempuan menebal lagi dalam diri ni.

Pandangan aku terhadap kawin awal ialah aku okay je IF pasangan kita tu dah economically stable and much wiser dari kita. Seorang yang mampu membimbing kita and dapat bagi pendapat yang matang dan logik. So, misal kate aku nak kawin awal. InsyaAllah. Aku akan carik seorang yang 4 or 5 tahun lebih tua dari aku, yang dah stable, if dia tak kerja lagi pun atleast we can sought it out together wisely and maturely. Lelaki yang macam mane aku suka korang kate? Lelaki yang tinggi dari aku haha, yang kelakar tapi ade masa nya dia serius. Seorang yang kontra dari aku yang terlalu rigid ni. Lelaki yang periang dan berbudi pekerti. Down to earth dan tahu menghormati orang tua dan pendapat orang lain. Pandai adapt kan diri tak kisah tempat or dgn sape (pasal aku ni jenis penyegan sikit nak tegur orang, so harapkan hubby aku yang minggle dgn orang2 sekeliling~weee). Seorang yang boleh share hobby together at the same time, he can teach me new stuff. Seorang yang adventurous dan suka travel. Spontaneous at time. yang paling penting dalam list aku ni, if misal kate semua ciri2 ni dia takde , at least he can be my Imam :)

so kawan2 marilah kita soal hati kita, ape yang kita mahu dan harapkan. Adakah ia bertentangan ngan prinsip agama kita? adakah ia membawa kesan positif terhadap kita or just memberikan impak negatif kat hati kita yang rapuh ni. So balik cuti ni, pi lah pikiaq if benda ni important sgt kat korang. If tak important pun, pikir sikit2 sudeyh lah, masa depan tu kita yang rancang tapi Allah yang tentukan :) Salam hati, dan selamat bercuti! Im gonna miss ou USMKK!

p.s: ye hati saya ade masalah. ade orang yg merompak sebahagian kecil hati ni. tapi biaq pi lah. if dah confirm sahih, mungkin aku akan guna cara Faz :)

:: Wah, Malu lah Ai ::

2012-01-17T21:46:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday!

haha.

valid ke wish aku ni ek huhu

btw kepada para pembaca

ni adalah video pertama aku buat k

so memang agak segan

pakai pun camera laptop yang 'canggih' ni je

sesape yang tak dengar ape aku cakap,

pakai lah headphone haha

ni ucapan khas untuk insan bernama kawan.

owh ucapan dia ialah

'hai assalamualaikum HAPPY BIRTHDAY *giggle'

though you're gone. I still wanted to wish you especially your family

a warm birthday.

thank you for being a good friend for 8 years.

This is my first time doing this

and i hope it wont be the last.

Actually before you fly to Jordan,

i had bought you 3 cards.

for 3 consecutive birthdays

but sadly i didnt post them to you since aku malu *shyshy cat

I always pray to Allah

to put you among the solihin and ease your way there.

Happy Birthday again. :)

actually birthday dia 18th January 2012. tapi disebabkan esok exam terpksa post awl beberapa jam :)

:: Kasut dan Aku ::

2012-01-17T12:31:00.006+08:00

:: Kasut & Aku ::

Menilai personaliti diri melalui kasut based on shapoko's perception. Mungkin ramai yang tak tahu betapa kasut dan saya mempunyai hubungan yang akrab. Kasut adalah satu benda yang paling aku hargai. Bak kate abah ' kasut biar selesa dipakai and dapat tahan lama biarpun harga dia mahal sikit'. betul ape, cuba kita fikir secara logik. Kasut yang harga dia memang kita mampu beli sampai 8 pasang tapi pakai pun dalam 2 to 3 bulan je. pastu terpaksa beli kasut baru. Atau pun kasut yang memang mampu kita beli sampai 8 pasang, tapi effect kat kaki kita yg akn nmpk macam dah 40 tahun lebih tua dari usia kita. Kasut bukan setakat untuk tunjuk tahap ketamadunan seseorang tapi jugak personaliti based on observation skills aku belajar time clinic hehe.

personaliti pertama :: suka pakai selipar toilet ::

orang yang suka pakai selipar toilet pi kuliah atau keluar berjalan-jalan menunjukkan yang dia ni free and easy. tema hidup dia adalah =ada aku kisah?= Pasal dia tak kisah la, dia pakai selipar toilet. Lagi satu, org yang macam ni menunjukkan yang dia ni berani menghadapi sebarang persepsi masyarakat tentang dia. They dont mind being judge on because they know who they truly are. Dorang rasa selesa dengan diri dorang sendiri. Tapi side yang tak berapa nak bagus orang mcm ni, they lack of common sense sikit. Kot lah nak pi majlis rasmi pakai selipar bebeh. Memang lah korang free and easy tak kisah pendapat orang tapi imej diri pun kena jaga. Ada tempat yang kita boleh pakai selipar and ada tempat kita kena jaga keperibadian kita, tak gitu?

personaliti ke dua :: suka pakai sandals ::

yang ni upgrade sikit daripada selipar toilet, although dia sepupu selipar toilet. sekarang sandal dah lawa2. mcam2 fesyen sekrang sandal. so bagi orang yang suka pakai sandal ni, dia sebenarnya orang yang nak jaga penampilan at the same time dorang ni mementingkan masa. sandal kan senang nak sarung and senang nak 'un' sarung kan dia. Ye, aku adalah seorang yang pakai sandal. maka dengan itu boleh lah kita judge dgn lebih terperinci mengikut pengalaman diri sendiri. Sandal ada dua major kategori satu sandal sport and satu lagi sandal fancy sikit. bagi pemakai sandal sport, memang jelas orang ni tak kisah berlasak2. dia main redah je. Dia sorang yang tough at the outside soft at the inside haha. Muka nampak je cool bila kena marah tapi dalam hati leleh gak. Untuk pemakai sandal fancy, dorang mementingkan konsep cepat tapi smart. Sandal ni mudah dipadankan dengan ape2 jenis baju. siyesly, cuba try. memang secocok bak pisang dan cekodok. So, orang yang pakai sandal ni ni senang nak adapt dengan keadaan. Bagi jelah ape2 masalah and situasi, dorang mampu mengatasinya. And yang paling penting, dorang ni friendly. Masalah pemakai sandal ni, kadang2 ke tough an dan ke friendly an dorang disalah tafsir kan. tak semua yang nampak tabah kat luar, tabah kat hati. tak semua orang suka orang yang friendly and open minded mcm pemakai sandal. Mungkin kekadang nak berkawan tu kena ada batas nya, ye tak?

personaliti ke tiga :: suka pakai sportshoes ::

Sport shoes memang sgt selesa. especially bile cuaca sejuk or musim hujan. Orang yang suka pakai sport shoes seorang yang aktif dan tak senang duduk. Dia kena ada aktiviti harian, tak kisah lah sukan ke amik gambo ke, kumpul setem ke asalkan ada aktiviti. Orang mcm ni dia berani mencuba apa yang orang lain tak berani nak cuba. Dari rock climbing hingga berkayak dia try. Orang pkai kasut sukan jugak seorang yang teliti dan berhati-hati dalam membuat keputusan walaupun dorang ni suka bergerak aktif and selalu on the go. di sebabkan dorang selalu on the go, dorang sentiasa berhati2 dlm membuat keputusan. Orang yang pakai kasut sukan je sebenarnya suka menyimpan rahsia. Dorang susah nak cerita masalah dorang yang sebenarnya kat kawan2 mahupun family. kerahsiaan tu something yang sorang sgt jaga dan if dorang decide to tell you the secrets meaning you are some what special or important to them.

Personaliti ke empat :: suka pakai high heel ::

yang ni biasa nya perempuan lah kan. Orang perempuan mana yang tak suka melawa, semua nak lawa or cantik. Orang yang suka pakai kasut tinggi adalah orang yang amat mementingkan penampilan dorang. Dorang tak kisah kaki sakit or pinggang sakit asalkan dorang nampak lawa. Orang yang pakai high heel mempunyai either very high confident level or low confident level. why? bukan semua orang boleh pakai high heel, yang sangat high itu. Confident is needed to show that you are comfortable with yourself. Dorang mahu orang melihat dorang dengan persepsi yang dorang ni very elegant, poise and confident. tapi ada jugak yang pakai kasut tinggi pasal level of confident dorang rendah. Tapi dengan pakai high heel dorang rasa confident. Ni jatuh kat golongan yang tak berapa nak tingi mcm saya :D bila everyone is towering high keliling korang, kekadang kita nak gak nmpak atleast sampai bahu pun cukup lah kan tinggi kita. So high heel adalah salah satu solution bagi orang2 yang tak berapa nak tinggi untuk berasa tinggi sementara. Tapi effect high heel sangat lah tak tertanggung. If kita pakai high heel more than 3 hours, mau kaki rasa tercabut or pinggang rasa nak patah. tengok2 kaki dah blister tahap supersaiya, bertepek lah plaster kat buku lali dan yang setempat dengan nya.

personaliti ke lima :: suka pakai flat shoes/ ballerina shoes ::

oh kasut ini sangat chomel dan selesa. dia ala2 selesa macam sandal campur sport shoe tolak the bulky design. Pemakai kasut ni mementingkan both comfort and style/ fashion. Banyak kasut2 yang mcm ni yang affordable plus selesa dipakai. Orang yang pakai kasut ni jugak pun mcm orang pakai sandal, dia nak cepat so senang nak pi ke mana- mana. And dorang selalu on the go macam orang pakai sport shoes. Kiranya solusi untuk orang yang nak selesa tapi nak nampak presentable and chomel, pakai lah flat shoes ni. Orang yang suka pakai flat shoes juga sorang yang laid back, relax and chill. And dorang down to earth ikut la design kasut tu macam mana kan. Orang yang pakai flat shoes jugak seorang yang suka buat statement diri based on the desing of the shoes. contoh, suka pakai flat shoes yang colour dia sangat striking, dia seorang yang berani dan ada hala tuju sendiri. Orang yang pakai printed flat shoes suka kan attention from other people. so dia based on the design of the flat shoes. tapi overall orang yang pakai flat shoes ni dia seorang yang laid back lah sebenarnya.

kay tu je dulu personaliti based on kasut pada hari ni. Penat dok pikiaq and idea based on my own observation. DItekan kan sekali lagi ini adalah based on observation shapoko yang subjective. tak de kena mengena hidup atau yang dah meninggal, kenal or tidak, kawan or tidak. Ini adalah dari perspektif shapoko sahaja so jangan amik hati noh!

p.s: hari ni exam yang paling blurghhh! gahh kbai nak tido :)

selamat tahun baru cina kat kawan2 chinese saya yang chomel! Limau kurangkan, bykkan ang pau ye kawan2 ti boleh belanja shapoko :D

:: Sun Of Tomorrow ::

2012-01-16T12:01:00.006+08:00

:: Sun Of Tomorrow ::

there might be mistakes done,

apology was never meant to be hidden,

truth is harsh

like the pavement

and i stood there

for hours, waiting for the sun

let the rays burn away those bitterness.

with words that will never be attended

side by side with promises of a dead man

then dont let your heart win

what ever might be the reason is,

trust only to Him.

Creator of all men,

knows the truths and lies men made

as wide as the wings of angels

that could cover the world

like eclipse

if you are ever meant to see the sun

then He will guide you through it.

prayers are send to heaven

shaken by death

time will not stop for us,

then

i might not be able to see the sun tomorrow

and this might be the last thing i wrote

hope for compassion and love

i seek forgiveness in the name of Allah.

i seek forgiveness

to mend the heart

full of sorrows and sins.

i seek the sun of tomorrow.

:: Unsent Letter ::

2012-01-15T23:14:00.004+08:00

Mungkin hati ini memerlukan sedikit masa. Ye sedikit sahaja masa lagi untuk kembali ke keadaan asal. mampukah? insyaAllah dengan izin nya aku pasti dan yakin. Allah maha mengetahui segala rahsia di langit dan di bumi. Allah tahu apa yang terbaik untuk setiap hambanya. Hati ini telah terluka. bukan luka kecewa. bukan luka putus cinta. tetapi luka akibat kehilangan sahabat sejati yang memahami hati ini lebih dari diri sendiri. dia tahu apa yang aku fikirkan, rasa, perjuangkan, prinsip dan segala keburukan & kebaikan diri ini. siapa kata kami tak pernah bergaduh, kami mengambil masa 2 tahun setengah untuk baik kembali,. mungkin itu salah aku yang terlampau ego untuk mengatakan bahawa aku sememangnya ...... begitu.

Persahabatan itu kekal selamanya. persahabatan itu indah jika Islam di jadikan landasan yang utuh. Dia banyak mengajar aku erti persahabatan, sabar, dan banyak membantu aku dari segi agama. ye, aku rindu ceramah agama dia haha :) biarpun aku bergurau kasar mengatakan dia poyo dan sebagainya hakikatnya aku kagum dengan insan itu. Hati ini hiba bila mengenangkan kenangan lalu. biarpun kami dah lama berkawan, kenangan kami amat sedikit. sedikit penyesalan namun apa yang hendak disesalkan. sekurang-kurangnya ada juga kenangan :)

untuk insan yang bernama Mohd Illham Ellani Jamal

aku rindu gurauan kau. aku rindu ceramah agama kau. aku rindu bercerita dengan kau. hati aku perlukan masa untuk adapt dengan ketiadaan kau. Hope kau faham yang aku sememangnya memerlukan masa. Aku mungkin tersenyum sekarang, gelak ketawa bersama rakan2 seperti tiada apa yang berlaku. mungkin aku kelihatan dah melupakan pemergian kau. tapi kau tak tahu betapa perit nya hati ini untuk face the fact that you are gone forever. Lan, pemergian kau meninggalkan seribu satu kenangan yang sukar diganti, i admit that. You are truly a loyal friend of mine. Aku ingat lagi time kau kat RMC, kau cerita ada satu scenery yang lawa kat court basketball kau. Kau cakap 'beb, ti if kau ade masa datanglah MTD, aku nak bawak kau kat satu tempat ni. lawa scenery dia, kau bleh tengok satu KL' and ada satu masa aku call kau, kau buat lawak yang tak berapa bijak contoh lawak kau 'kipas ngan lampu'. tapi aku gelak gak pasal cara kau cakap lagi lawak dari lawak tu itself.

kau ingat tak time kita first time jumpa after 3 years. yup, kat OU. Kau memang hensem time tu hahaha. First thing aku cakap bler jumpa kau 'wah, kau dah kurus tak chubby macam dulu' hahaha. kau lak sakat aku cakap aku pendek. pastu time kat escalator kau cakap 'eyh beb tak payah ar naik satu tangga lagi tinggi dari aku, admit je lah kau rendah' ceh hampeh nye kawan.

tapi ape yang aku paling ingat time kat OU tu, kita amik gambar for the first and the last time. kau forever young la macam tu kan . Last kita jumpa kat Midvalley. sebak plak aku ingat kenangan last aku ngan kau.

aku ingat lagi aku tulis kad kat kau dengan kelam kabut nye pasal takut kau perasan. aku lukis kau bentuk bulat giler hahaha. pasal kau dah hilang shape RMC kau dulu haha. AKu rasa time aku jumpa kau tu, sejujurnya aku happy gler. Atleast kau tinggal kan aku dengan kenangan yang indah Lan.

Lan, janji tiga tahun sekali kita tu macam mana aku nak tunai kan. dengan pi melawat kau ke? 3 tarikh yang pasti aku ingat, 1) hari kita last jumpa 2) tarikh kau tinggalkan kitrg 3) birthday kau

banyak sebenarnya aku nak cerita tapi macam banyak benda2 yang aku pendam selama ni. sokay, insyaAllah tunggu aku lan. aku akan menyusuli kau, bila? Allah je yang tahu :)

daripada sahabat kau yang nampak je macam tabah

cheffy

L.O.V.E is over rated

2011-11-19T01:23:00.002+08:00

L.O.V.E is overrated.

'If the reason i'm writing this song just to make you notice me, i know that it won't change the fact that you will never notice me at all' says Miko. She hung up the phone and run towards the toilet. She cried, hard. All the things they had or practically they never had is crushing down on her like the tragic waves of Tsunami. She is drowning herself with all the tears and sobbing. If he just give her a chance to explain herself, the song and her feelings. Maybe, Eros was not feeling generous today. She's out of luck and love.

6 months ago

She was quite at first. Look kinda shy. She always looks down whenever there is people walk besides her. Beautiful girl with red apple cheeks, long shiny black hair as black as the night, a pair of cat's eyes striking whoever looks at her would punch a hole in their hearts, leaving marks like tattoo. Medium height with broad shoulder, she looks kinda tough for girls. Miko always wears casually, not the type of person who follows the norm in her college. 'I don't care if you guys don't like me, i don't even bother to like all of you too' she said with her trademark cynical smile. Her so-independent-kinda-girl personality what makes people annoyed and some afraid just to glance at her.

But to him, this is only a beginning of something fun and mysterious.

'Oh boy, when will he ever stop yapping, we already know the college's rules and regulations, urgh!' Frustrated with the chancellor's speech-of-no-ending, Miko slapped herself softly just to keep her from drooling in the middle of the chancellor's speech.

'Come on Miko, we already knew that the speech gonna take forever, here rest your head at my shoulder' Lulu takes her friend head, and gently rest Miko's head at her shoulder. Lulu is Miko's one and only best of friend. She listens to her, consult her, play pranks together and basically everything. Lulu doesn't mind with Miko's unpredictable temperament or her unusual behaviours. She likes her, she appreciate the uniqueness of a girl name Miko.

A pair of eye looks at Miko from far. Pretending not noticing the stare, she wonders if a stalker really exists. She waited for the right moment to catch those glances then again she wonders is it her paranoia that is playing with her senses or there is somebody watching her thoroughly. ‘I thought you’re sleepy?’ Lulu shocked her. ‘God you scared the hell out of me, don’t do that again. Like ever Lulu’ a cover up Miko made that is so lame everyone will notice it. ‘Drama queen much? Haha. Hey, i think you might have a fan boy after all’ Lulu pointing out the tall, tanned and surprisingly above average looking kinda guy that sit 2 rows away from them. ‘Creepy isn’t he? Wonders what he sees in you haha’ teasing Miko is Lulu’s specialty. Miko pout and said ‘i know im not that dazzling Lu, but that guy is giving me a bad vibe. Just ignore him babe, I’m sure he look away’

Monsoon season is here again. Some people wear jackets or sweaters, some bring their all sizes and shapes umbrella and some simply dashes through the rain. All of that, Miko hates the rain. She hates when her clothes are wet. She hates coming to the class in those kinds of circumstances. ‘Gahh, why do I always have such bad luck with the rain’ babbling to herself like nobody is there. She waits for the rain to stop (as if) at the boy’s dormitory downstairs. She looked around hoping that someone she knows stop by and lend her their umbrella. It’s been 20 minutes and it is still raining cats and dogs. Miko seriously given up going to the class today as she really hates getting herself wet. Natasha Bendingfield’s Angel song is playing in her mp3 and she mumble some of the lyrics ‘i’ll be you angel lalala’

‘Oh, you sure you wanna be my angel, agashi’ a rough voice breaks through her volume 9 mp3. Starlet, she turned around and surprise ‘pardon?’ she asked. ‘haha, i guess you couldn’t hear me well since you’re listening to this thing loud enough for me to hear it’ He take off one of her earphones and continue ‘you know, it is bad to skip class and also listening to the music in a high volume, agashi’ He smiled. Damn, as if she would fall for such smile (she did actually) ’and you are?’ she take off the other earphones and keep the mp3 inside her sling bag. ‘Eros, Eros Michael’ he pull out his hand from his side jeans pocket and wanting to shake Miko’s hand. ‘Do you know me, whats you’re name again?’ She tried to be cool and still manage to shake his hand, a firm grip from both. ‘shoot, his hand is warm and big, i never thought guys hands would be different from girls’ she said to herself.

‘It’s Eros, agashi. I told you listening to the music loudly is definitely not good for the ears and no i don’t know who you are, agashi’ he smile and put his hands back into the side jeans pocket. ‘and you just appeared from nowhere, is i t? ’ Miko is dying inside, gaah why me why me. ‘actually, i was spying on you from my room’ he pointed out his room at the first floor opposite from where they ‘re standing. ‘i thought you are some weird agashi, standing here for the whole 20 minutes and i guess i wanted to stand here too’ Miko surprise. She doesn’t expect this from a guy, a hot tall mysterious guy. ‘i should report on you, since you’re stalking me’ She blurted that out, man. ‘hahaha, you are one funny agashi’ he laugh and continue ‘please take this and don’t skip your class agashi, till we meet again’ he passed her his umbrella and walked away. 10 minutes had passed and she still standing there, dumbfounded.

End of part 1

To be continued

:: The Missing Four Months ::

2011-09-19T07:48:00.002+08:00

La Voix Que Je Manque

Yes people, its been awhile. Four months to be exact. Aku malas nak update blog since im not a tegar blogger unlike someone in my family. The last four months, i've been fattening up myself until everyone tegur 'owh pika nampak sihat/ pika nampak berisi dari dulu'. Yelah makan je kerja.

The last one month before habis cuti, we got a very surprising news liao. gaahh. Convex is on. Gahhh. Why people, why!!! out of all four months, August jugak korang nak buat La Announcement. gaahh.

My new term started off, hellish. Hell my friends, hell. I didnt get enough sleep. I sleep mostly at 3 in the morning. My tingkap broke (and got replaced a day before going to penang, fuh). I am freaking tired. Yet again, aku excited nak pi penang tonight.

yes, akhirnya convex tiba :D

Good Bye KB. Hello Penang XD

:: Sepi itu Lonely ::

2011-05-20T10:19:00.002+08:00

Do I Feel Lonely?

yes, i've been absent from blogging (again). Im not dedicated enough to update my blog, sorry guys. haha. Holidays are for me to enjoy it with family and friends. and sorry to disappoint you i DO NOT have a boyfriend. So dont assume that i'll be spending it with someone special *puke*. Back to the title ---> LONELY. actually it is from 2ne1 new song, Lonely. The melody is easy to the ears plus the vocals aww layan beb layan!. During the hols, i miss my friends a lot, like really2 a lot. arghh, gara2 banyak habis kan masa with them make me feel a bit hollow inside. You know what makes me feel this mellow, thinking 'arghh, i should appreciate them better when they are around me, aigoo'. During the hols also, i syafiqah, with my two other beloved friends Nawal and Mar are currently busy looking for suppliers for our online shop. YES people we will be opening our shop after new sem open. Please do support us by buying/promote them. The details of the store later lah i tell you hehe. Currently busy designing our shop's logo and all sort of things *muke tension gler*. So dont expect me to update my blog everyday or even every month haha.

Lonely is currently my fave song at the mo. alongside with beast's fiction and the day that rain comes.

I do actually feel Lonely. I do not know why. Do You Have The Answer?

Lonely by 2ne1

The words I’m saying right now, I don’t know if they’ll hurt you
They’ll probably make you hate me forever
You, saying that I’m not the same as I used to be, is not completely untrue
This changed me is a stranger to myself as well
You are so kind but
That’s the way you are but oh
I don’t know I don’t know
Why I am like this
We were so in love, and you’re here now but oh
I don’t know
I want to find myself now

Baby I’m sorry, even when I’m with you, I’m Lonely
I must be lacking when it comes to love, please forgive this person horrible person I am
I’m sorry, this is your and my story
I must not be worthy of this thing called love, even though I’m by your side
Baby I’m so lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely

You didn’t do anything wrong, I’m the strange one
It seems I’ve already been prepared long ago, for our breakup
I really wanted to treat you well, out of all the times, why is it when I’m confronted by love
I am shrinking away & am lonely endlessly
You are so kind but
That’s the way you are but oh
I don’t know I don’t know
Why I am like this
We were so in love, and you’re here now but oh
I don’t know
I want to find myself now

Cuz I’m just another girl
This night is lonely, I
Can’t take any more, Good bye
Cuz I’m just another girl
I’m so lonely
Even though I’m by your side right now
Baby I’m so lonely
Lonely lonely lonely lonely
Baby I’m so lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely

:: 좋은 오후, Shapoko ::

2011-05-02T14:14:00.003+08:00

owh yessirie shapoko+holiday= overslept til noon, AFTERNOON i tell you XD

No i dont know why i always wake up late at noon. Sori mom cuz i supposedly teman you cycling this morning. End up you cycled alone T^T aigoo bad shapoko. Maybe because i already set in my mind that i really want to spend first week of my holiday sleeping since i dont really sleep at usmkk during study week. Typical shapoko hehe. So you guys, dont spend your holiday sleeping. Please do spend it wisely. :)

pesanan di atas ditaja oleh Shapoko & Co

:: Awan Nano ::

2011-05-01T00:23:00.005+08:00

YES, exam had ended, yahoo *happy dance!*. Well, i miss my friends though. Oh god, ape aku ni, dah cuti rindu kawan tak cuti rindu family =.=' make up your mind lah woman. I miss ____ ahahha please do fill in the blank. I'm taking my mind thinking bout my life as a student at usmkk, as a daughter, a sister and a friend. I think i havent done anything much in all of the roles. During my journey to penang last thursday, my family and i stop at sungai bating or something like that at perak. We stopped for a moment really, then on the way to the restroom (which is in a horrible state) i suddenly stopped. I was fixed to this one song playing on th eradio at that time. That song is Awan Nano by Hafiz rambut afro yang chomel *blush*. Awan Nano is a sad song. My heart throbbing to let the tied end lose free (the end in my heart that is LOL)

Before i gone home and leave usmkk for 4 freaking months (dalam hati melonjak keriangan :D), i had a convensation with my dearest friend, nawal :) Well actualy that night we arent able to study *baru balik from chim chum* and i said to her that actually i still like her bro's friend hahahahahahahahah *muka merah menyala ni* and she said that give him time. i dont know though. i dont really know whether i really like him just for the sake of liking him. I admit that he suits me the best among other err let say candidates LOL. He is towering tall. He looks like he has many things to think about. When i see him, i see the future. I see something that i cant see with other people. Maybe he resembles my bro a lil bit. How they struggle in study and some sort. I remembered how he used to treat me when we bump into each other. His smiles is the best. He will has that wrinkle smile like an old man. Yes, i do have that sort of feeling when i think of him and i keeping myself away from thinking of him. Why? cuz i cant control my mind and heart from thinking bout him, about what sorts of thing he has in mind. What history does he hold that he keeps people around him from knowing. What sort of life does he been through. Why does he keeps his heart away from people reaching it, from me reaching it.

Yes, i have fallen head over heel with this guy, but i have to keep myself away from him no matter what it takes. I cant show him my heart, my soul. Im afraid of being hurt again. I had already a false alarm formhim before, i thought he likes me like i do. He used to smile at me, brightly. He used to keeps his eyes on me from distance. I see him in my mind, i see him in my heart. He used to treat me well. Suddenly, he back off. He is far from reach. He keeps himself away from me. I wonder my dear Baju Merah, all the signs you used to gave me is it a lie? you locked yourself, your heart from me. But its okay, i will be your AWAN NANO

chuwa!

Lihat ke arah sana

Serakan warna dan berarakan

Awan

Pabila terik panas

Segera hadirnya memayungi diri

Pabila kau dahaga

Sesegera turun hujan melimpahkan kasihnya

Pabila kau katakan

Akulah awan itu yang kau mahu

Begitulah awan nano

Setia melindungi diri

Tika panas mencuba menggores pipi

Dan bibirmu

Begitulah awan nano

Sering saja tak terduga hadir

Dan tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Kasihnya

Kasih tiada banding

Setia tiada tara

Bagaimanapun jua

Awan kekasih sebenarmu sayang

Walaupun tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Lihat diriku ini

Yang sesekali pernah kau bagaikan awan

Sehingga tak mungkin terlupa

Berikan belas sedari dulu

Sehingga tak mungkin termampu saksi

Setitis pun air matamu kasihku

Sehingga kau katakan

Akulah awan itu yang kau rindu

Akulah awanmu yang sedia

Melindungi dirimu tika panas mencuba menggores pipi

Dan bibirmu

Akulah awanmu yang sering kau rindu

Dan tak terduga hadirmu walau tak tercapai jejarimu

Kasihku

Kasih tiada banding setia tiada tara

Bagaimanapun jua

Aku pelindung dirimu sayang

Walaupun tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Begitulah awan nano

Setia melindungi diri tika panas mencuba menggores pipi

Dan bibirmu

Begitulah awan nano

Sering saja tak terduga hadir

Dan tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Kasihku

Kasih tiada banding setia tiada tara

Bagaimanapun jua

Aku pelindung dirimu sayang

Walaupun tak akan tercapai jejarimu

:: La Vie Est Comme Des Bulles ::

2011-04-25T18:19:00.002+08:00

yes my life is like bubbles, short life cycle i meant!

It seems like yesterday. I walked to the Bilik Tutorial for my interview. Speech pathology's interview that is! I remembered how nervous i was that day. I wore my favorite baju kurung, the chocolaty one. I was going to puke waiting at the bilik seminar (now is bilik i dunno what for LOL). Everyone around me are preparing for the interview, reading some notes or facts about USM and the course they are going to be interviewed on. I looked on my sides and i think i might going to be sicked.

First of all, i didn't have much enthusiasm for the interview. I was freaking lazy to go for the interview. I said to mama and baba that i dont want to go. Then baba said 'if baba, baba pergi ajer' <------ to my dear readers, if my baba said like this meaning "YOU SHOULD GO" okay. Yes, i remembered i was crying my eyes out, cuz i really really really really dont want to go to KELANTAN. NOOOOO! nightmare begun. So ak tak nak, you have to go, although that meant you have to gave up your dream university, which is UPM and UKM for me .

I know from the moment i start to talk during the interview, they will love me no matter how many participants that come to the interview. Nope, i dont really this arrogant or confident. But i knew i will be accepted as soon as i step into and out of the bilik tutorial. That moment was the breaking point for me to choose my carrier, either just follow your gut instinct or your dream. My insticnt says that i will get accepted to USM for speech pathology while my dream was to be a psychiatrist at UKM. I knew from that moment, i've made the right decision.

A year past now, it was a year ago since i entered USM Kampus Kesihatan Kubang Kerian Kelantan. Yes, i'm proud of who i am, and what university i am in. Although at first, USM is too far for me to reached. Now USM is too near you feel that everything is centered here. My mind, my heart and my innerself lie here at USMKK. I got to love what i got right. I dont want to take things for granted. I thank Allah for His kindness and will, His love and compassion for giving me the opportunities to still being alive and experience life here. Although it was quite a rough one whole year (at first), i managed to keep myself organised. Friendships are build here. I've met amazing people. I love them so freaking much. It gives me new perspectives on entertainment especially. I dont need tv or cinema or what so ever cuz i have my friends and of course my lovely laptop+external hahaha.

Second year will be harder and tougher and more hectic. Your mind dont have the time to keep up with all of this stuffs. Clinic will awaits for us. Report will be our best friend. Patients will haunt us to sleep. I can hear they calling for us. Arghh (belum pape lagi dah start cuak ape daa)

Yes, a year is like a month. You dont realise that u have spend your whole year at USMKK. You dont even notice that you actually have grown up mentally and might be fashionally? During my 19th birthday (yes, that actually the last of my teen years), mama send me a card (a very cute card, ada gabar handbag yang chomel). One of the line reads 'Mama doakan adik lebih dewasa untuk berfikir dan membuat keputusan yang terbaik'. wacehh berat tanggungjawab tu. While abah's 'Dear Syafiqah, Baba doakan semoga Allah sentiasa berkati anakanda, dimurahkan rezeki sedia mendapat keredhaan dari Nya'. So, I (being the cry baby) was actually menitis kan air mata haha. Okay, i've been celebrating my birthday two years without them. I know that other people have been celeb their bday without their parents like 5 or 6 years. I'm used to celeb my bday with my parents since i was 0 months old. I 've been living with them for 17 years. So, it is quite lonely without them, yes i admit. I miss them everytime i am away from them.

I remembered at the beginning of the 1st year, i was sicked. Freaking fever and i actually coughing out blood. I thought i was going to die another 2 to 3 months. I was suspected for TB. Alhamdullillah bukan okay. Baba and Mama came to see me almost every week. During that period of time, i was pale and losing a lot of weight. When they said they wanted to visit me, i always asked for homemade dishes like spagetti and bergedil (kakak saya yang tolong masak last minit before pi kelantan). They drove to kelantan okay. They dont take the plane to see me. Terharu sangat time tu. Ingat lagi baba said to mama and eventually mama said to me lah kan 'kenapa adik pucat sangat?' Abah sangat sayang kan anak-anak nya, tapi memang sukar untuk babah cakap sendri depan kami.

So as the conclusion, i study here at USMKK mostly because of my parents. Second of all, i love speech and it is an opportunity for me to learn more in life. Mama cakap kalau nak berkat belajar kena dengar cakap ibubapa. Yes i agreed. Restu ibubapa tu sangat penting dalam hidup kita. InsyaAllah, study je ape saje asalkan mendapat restu kedua ibubapa, kita mendapat keredhaan daripada Nya and insyaAllah success!

my life is like the bubbles in the sky. Although it is a short cycle, u enjoy every moment of it.

pikapompom sayang USMKK. Rindu pada keluarga. Ingin melihat dunia dari perspective yang abstract! Another 2 days til i finally end my first year :D

:: Boss Tegar! ::

2011-04-23T02:04:00.005+08:00

ye saye Boss Tegar (bak kate nawal :D)

yes, from the pic, u will know that i am BOSS TEGAR

(people cant see my pimples, i covered it well hoho, gara2 exam aku pimpled =.=')

I've fell head over heel with boss. He smell like milk coffee, bitter but sweet. He always there for me as long as Che Din open. He keeps me awake, supporting me in my critical hour til 3 o'clock in the morning. I think the only thing he remember about me is my money. If i dont have money, then he wont be mine. Sometimes, i desperately in need of boss but because of my financial i have to lend money from my friends. They know how much i love boss. Today, Che Din close. I miss Boss. I cant concentrate in my revisions. My eyes betray me. Atlast, i cheated on boss. I ordered Neslo as a substitute to you. But nothing is better than you. Even Neslo cant keep me awake. I miss my Boss. My Short Break Boss.

pikapompom is head over heel with ipod. He is smart, funny and charming. He smiles bright like the sun and his eyes are cloudy as the cloud. He smells like a comic book and an old photo. I hope he knows. I hope.

Alex: if he doesnt call you, he doesnt call you. (He Just Not That Into You)

:: Shapoko is Piss Off ::

2011-04-21T00:51:00.004+08:00

Ye saye budak yang sensitip. Just kat USM ni je aku tak tunjuk betape sensitip nye aku. Perlu ker? tak perlu rase nye aku nak tunjuk kat orang yang aku ni cepat sikit panas enjin die. Bak kate mama 'adik kena banyak minum air sejuk so bleh cool down cepat jugak'. Hari ni topik, 'AKU PISS OFF NAK MAM'

Okay fine aku memang jarang marah secara public. People will know if aku piss off ke tak dengan tengok muka aku yang sahih tak dapat hide betape bengkek nye aku. Okay, kenapa aku bengkek. Sonang den cite, i dont feel like my presence is being appreciated especially in FRIENDSHIP. Bagi aku friendship itu something that very precious and i need to keep it in a very good shape cuz we need people who care for us and correct us when we are wrong. So if you guys wanted to know me and be friend with me, then go a head. Tak de orang halang just you need to know that i really take care of my friends and our relationship. Friendship is one of my main priority in life. Aku malas ar nak bagitau pasal ape aku bengkek, cuz aku kena jage juga hati kawan2 aku yang lain, yang terlibat secara tidak lansung. Korang tahu if aku marah, aku marah sat je kan, tapi if melibatkan friendship aku parah sikit nak reda. So back off. Aku rase nak syafiqah yang lame nak keluar nie. Sabar pika oi. Dorang taknak jumpe THAT syafiqah. Korang nampak aku macam tak amik pedulik, tapi aku tahu sume bnda pasal kawan aku. YE SAYA SEORANG YANG SERIOUS, kenape ade masalah? Aku tahu aku tak secharming, or beautiful, nor intelligent like my friends. But i am sure i have something that people dont have. Argh, panas2. Aku dah lame tak curse, jangan sampai aku curse weyh kang tak berkat ilmu aku study nie.

Plus, i may seem to be like an independent type of girl, well you are 3/4 correct cuz i am. I can survive by myself. i dont mind being alone from time to time. Tapi jangan lah sampai ingat aku ni tunggol duduk sebelah. Aku ade perasaan gak weyh. Kalau ko nak take care sangat kat kawan aku tu, cakap je lah direct kat dier, toksah suruh aku tengok2 kan kawan aku cuz aku memang akan jage kawan aku. ko tak suruh pun aku memang dah lame jage kawan2 aku. So dont simply thinks that aku dengar cakap ko aku nie okay je.

Takpe lah orang taknak jage hati kite, kite jage sendiri sudah. I dont need your sympathy nor your attention. I need you to GET LOSE.

sori if ade sape2 yang terase. Ni memang bukan pasal korang. ni pasal orang yang tak tahu appreciate ape yang dinamakan sebagai 'kawan'

You don't even know me

You say that I'm not living right

You don't understand me

So why do you judge my life

I don't ask for nothing

I'm always holding my own

Every time I turn around it's something

People talking about what they don't know

And when I try to move on up

They're always pulling me down

I'm tired and I've had enough

It's my life and I'm living it now

You don't even know me

You say that I'm not living right

You don't understand me

So why do you judge my life

I always wonder why

People try to hurt me

No happiness in their own lives

So they act out all there jealousies

Who are you to say that I'm living wrong

Always telling me what to do

I've decided I gotta be strong

What makes you think that I needed you

You don't even know me

:: Yang Terlewatkan ::

2011-04-19T01:17:00.002+08:00

hari ni saya bangun lambat, owh nooss

selamat pagi sume! ohayo!

today i woke up and straightly saying morning greeting to my lovely roommmate ~Jun~

god, i've been sleeping like a log. Gara-gara tido lambat semalam layan Fazzy and isma :) LoL

hai korang, Morning! (sambil gosok2 mata)

after that, I open my phone and play the most addictive song for me right now ~The Script The Man Who Cant Be Move~ i super love that song. Okay, why did i open such mellow song in the morning? Owh Yeah, sisa perasaan malam tadi masih tertinggal di dalam hati. cukup lah untuk bermadah pujangga. saya penat berbunga hehe. So, right after the script's song was Yang terlewatkan by Sheila on 7. I've been listening to Sheila on 7 since i cant remember when cuz its like long long long time ago. Hearing duta sang the song was beautiful (okay lagu tu pun mellow) conclusion, today i feel very mellow. Arghh doushite my dear, doushite. Touching lak pagi2 nie. I better hear something powerful like Welcome To The Jungle hahaha baru terjaga dari tidoq kan :)

so shapoko pagi nie mellow yellow.

Selamat Pagi semua. Study Time (before that gi MANDI lah! hok)

:: Bila Cinta ::

2011-04-18T19:45:00.002+08:00

Baiklah, mari kite berbicara tentang cinta.

Kenapa kena cerita tentang cinta dan mengapa saya berbahasa Malaysia secara baku untuk menulis wacana pada malam ini. Entah lah, mungkin kerana mood dan perasaan shapoko mahu berbicara tentang cinta. Ya, saya tengah gembira. Mengapa? Kerana saya mempunyai seorang kawan yang sungguh bertuah pada hari ini. Keluarga 'Kawan' teman saya melawat si gadis dan memberi layanan yang baik terhadap si gadis. Mana tak nya, 'kawan' si gadis jauh diperantauan maka buat pengganti diri, keluarga datang melawat alang-alang menghantar si bongsu ke asrama. Saya tahu si gadis segan dan malu hendak berjumpa dengan si keluarga, namun mungkin ada tersembunyi di dalam hati perasaan terharu kerana mereka ingat dan sanggup bertemu dengan si gadis. Ikatan belum terikat tetapi hati sudah tertaut. Apa tah lagi keluarga pun sudah menunjukkan minat terhadap si gadis. Molek orangnya, berbudi bahasa serta lemah lembut. Tutur kata yang sopan buat orang tertarik terhias indah dengan ramah mesra nya. Maka si keluarga tentu setuju dengan pilihan teruna. Orang lain yang kenal si gadis juga senang dengan perilaku si gadis, tidak seperti saya hahaha.

Jika teman saya gembira saya juga turut kongsi kegembiraan mereka. Maka, saya gembira bagi pihak si gadis kerana bukan senang mahu medapat persetujuan keluarga terutamanya daripada keluarga si teruna. InsyaAllah, jika jodoh mereka berkekalan maka adalah, jika tidak kita reda saja dengan kehendakNya. Mungkin jodoh saya belum tiba, bayangan nya pun tidak dapat dilihat. Mungkin juga saya perlu banyak lagi belajar untuk memperlengkapkan diri sebagai gadis pilihan hati. Doa tak putus-putus minta yang terbaik dan menjadi yang lebih baik. Oh tidak shapoko bermadah pujangga. Hati berbunga indah malam ini. Bukan kerana kumbang tetapi hanya menumpang kegembiraan orang lain. Ya, saya masih menunggu seseorang. Namun dia bukanlah orang yang anda sangkakan. Tinggi gandingan bola keranjang, secocok. Intelektual juga hebat, namun bayangan misteri teruna amat sukar untuk ditembusi. Argh saya pasrah, penat menunggu. Tak pasti akan tiba. Lagu teruna berkumandang di tympanic membrane. Aduh, payah. Hati kembali mencari. Cop, jangan di buka nanti terjerat lama. Bahaya :)

maka terdengar indah maksud tersirat, hanya Dia yang tahu :D

I know its not your fault, but I'm a locked door

And inside I'm a mess by someone before

And I wish that I, I could find a key

To unlock all the things that you want us to be

Let me open up and start again,

But there's a safe around my heart

I don't know how to let you in,

And that's what keeps us apart

And that's why I need time.

I said I need you,

I need you to understand, you, you, you [x2]

Call up the locksmith,

Tell him we need him quick

We've got a million keys,

None of them seem to fit

While you're on the phone,

call up the clocksmith,

Cuz I could use some time,

Even the slightest bit

Let me open up and start again,

And break this safe around my heart

I don't know how to let you in,

And that's what keeps us apart

And that's why I need time

I said I need you

I need you to understand, you, you, you [x2]

I'm thinking now's the time,

Maybe its time to go, if I gave you my heart, be gentle,

I'm tired of laying low, lets give the world a show

And when you know, you know,

And when you know, you know, you know

And when you know, you know, you know, you know

And that's why I need time

I said I need you,

I need you to understand

:: Inikah Semua Dugaannya::

2011-04-16T07:07:00.006+08:00

:Inikah semua Dugaannya:

vain itu perlu by TNC poko

tick tock tick tock

the clock count the last minute back to the top

tick tock tick tock

anatomy notes in my hand while my heart at Bangkok

tick tock tick tock

the clock strike midnight, the grim shadow of Dewan Utama is predicting our luck

tick tock tick tock

i can't see it clearly but i know tomorrow will be tough

tick tock tick tock

final is tomorrow and i still writing a blog

aigoo

to all my friends

good luck in your final exam

doa itu perlu, solat itu wajib

pikapompom kelam kabut bace nota, hatinya di rumah

wish me luck yo!

: Doushite :

2011-03-10T20:48:00.006+08:00

Doushite kimi wo suki ni natte shimattan darou?

I love this song, doushite by TVXQ or tohoshinki :) I felt in love after hearing it for the first -that is two years ago- thanks to my dearly beloved friend nadjwa :) well, i heard the acapella one and later i heard the music one, well i love acapella better than the original, bian. If you are wondering what is the song is all about, well this song is not a happy happy joy joy song, its about a guy who secretly in love with a girl, later he found out that the girl he loves the most is getting married with other guy. The saddest thing is he attended the wedding and watched the love of his love marrying the guy she loves. Even the lyric is sad liao. Not that im sad of r anything i just love the song, its really nice and soothes your heart, ceh mentang2 lah hujan kan, aku melodrama sat haha.

This song reminds me of my matrix life at KMK, Changloon Kedah. I miss my matric life and my friends i met there. ARGHHHH i miss you guys. Nak balik KL huhu really2 wanted to go back. Not that i cant stand here at kelantan, i just need time off from this hectic crazy life. i miss my family huhu, yes i am being a cry baby although im already 20 hahaha. Pesanan buat junior2 yang nak masuk Uni, especially those who wanted to join usmkk, be afraid be very very afraid haha no lah, just enjoy your time with family and friends wisely, because you never know where and what you will end up with. Enjoy life while you can *wink.

Doushite- Tohoshinki :)

どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう
どんなに時が流れても君はずっとここにいると思ってたのに
でも君が選んだのは違う道

Doushite kimi wo suki ni natte shimattan darou
Donna ni toki ga nagarete mo kimi wa zutto
Koko ni iru to omotteta noni
Demo kimi ga eranda no wa chigau michi

Why did I end up falling for you?
No matter how much time has passed
I still thought you were right here
But you've already chosen a different path

どうして君に何も伝えられなかったんだろう
毎日毎晩募ってく思い
あふれ出す言葉
わかってたのに
もう届かない

Doushite kimi ni nani mo tsutaerarenakattan darou
Mainichi maiban tsunotteku omoi
Afuredasu kotoba
Wakatteta noni
Mou todokanai

Why couldn't I call out to you at all?
Every day and night growing emotions
And words overflow
But I realized that
They'd never reach you again

はじめて出会ったその日から
君を知っていた気がしたんだ
あまりに自然に溶け込んでしまった二人

Hajimete deatta sono hi kara
Kimi wo shitteita ki ga shittanda
Amari ni shizen ni tokekonde shimatta futari

Since that day I first met you
I felt like I already knew you
You and I melded into each other so smoothly

どこに行く乗りも一緒で君がいることが当然で
僕らは二人で大人になってきた
でも君が選んだのは違う道

Doko ni iku nori mo issho de kimi ga iru koto ga touzen de
Bokura wa futari de otonaninatte kita
Demo kimi ga eranda no wa chigau michi

It was natural for me to be where you were
The two of us grew up together
But you've already chosen a different path

どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう
どんなに時が流れても君はずっと
ここにいると思ってたのに
もう帰れない

Doushite kimi wo suki ni natte shimattan darou
Donna ni toki ga nagarete mo kimi wa zutto
Koko ni iru to omotteta noni
Mou kaerenai

Why did I end up falling for you?
No matter how much time has passed
I still thought you were right here
Now we can't turn back

特別な意味を持つ今日を
幸せ顔で立つ今日を
きれいな姿で神様に願ってる君を

Tokubetsuna imi wo motsu kyou wo
Shiawase kao de tatsu kyou wo
Kireina sugata de kami sama ni negatteru kimi wo

The special meaning held by this day
Today you stood with a happy expression
You looked beautiful while praying to God

僕じゃない人の隣で
祝福されてる姿を
僕はどうやって見送ればいいのだろう

Boku janai hito no tonari de
Shukufukusareteru sugata wo
Boku wa douyatte miokureba ii no darou

But I wasn't the one next to you
And the image of you receiving blessings
Of that how could I let go?

どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう
あの頃の僕らのこと
もう戻れない（考えた考えた）

Doushite kimi ga suki ni natte shimattan darou
Ano koro no bokura no koto
Mou modorenai (kangaeta kangaeta)

Why did I end up falling for you?
How we were before
We can't return to it anymore (I've thought it through, thought it through)

どうして君の手をつかみ奪えなかったんだろう
どんなに時が流れても君はずっと
僕の横にいるはずだった（そのままに）

Doushite kimi no te wo tsukami ubaenakattan darou
Donna ni toki ga nagarete mo kimi wa zutto
Boku no yoko ni iru hazu datta (sono mama ni)

Why didn't I hold on to your hand?
No matter how much time has passed
You should've always been by my side (never changing)

それでも君が僕のそば離れていても
永遠に君が幸せでいること
ただ願ってる
たとえそれがどんなに寂しくても（寂しくても）

Soredemo kimi ga boku no soba hanareteite mo
Eien ni kimi ga shiawase de iru koto
Tada negatteru
Tatoe sore ga donna ni sabishikute mo (sabishikute mo)

But still, even if I'm nowhere near you anymore
I'm praying that you
May be happy for eternity
No matter how much that would make me lonely (no matter how lonely)

: And She Will Be Love :

2011-03-09T09:37:00.009+08:00

: Et Elle Sera Amour :

Her name is Shapoko. Her heart had frozen for a year and a half now.

She stood in the rain while staring at the dark clouds above

so nobody know that she's crying her eyes out.

'yesterday was history' she said 'and today will be memory'

'tomorrow comes with a hope and future seeks a new side of me'

She stares blindly at the sky thinking why her past was as dark as the night

She found out that her heart is frozen out of the cold

made by men who never think bout her feelings

her soul, her love and her warm heart.

she seeks truth behind their doing, but all she get is lame answers and excuses

Shapoko had unnecessary tired her heart out.

she gave up.

She stop looking for the truth and now letting the reality hit her like the waves

drag her to the shore

time and time again

she keeps running back to the ocean but

keep being push back by the waves

all left of her is determination

determination to stay strong

as strong as the metal chained tempered by the sweaty iron smith

keeping her true self as pure as the tears she used to shed

fortified herself with walls like the Great Wall of China

so the Mongolian armies couldn't tear down her great defense

those who seeks her heart

will endure a long torturous journey

that end up with a great disappointment

only a mighty knight

will win her heart

by gaining her trust, first.

and he say

It’s not always rainbows and butterflies
It’s compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door’s always open
You can come anytime you want

I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

shapoko

well, i can show you better than i can tell you

: 20 :

2011-03-08T11:13:00.004+08:00

So, 2011+shapoko= 20! omo!

Haa, yessirie, we will be talking about age today, (really?) nope most probably we will be talking about how much we've learned, we participate in life and maturity is the main topic for today. You see, today i've learned that love cant buy you everything nor provide you with happiness alone. Maybe im still young and with less experience, but i do sincerely think that love alone cant shelter us from the harsh reality. So, i've been spending my precious nite with the gurls [Nawal, Mar and Faz :))] we were having gurls talk while enjoying the rain hahaha. I've learned a lot from them, their experiences and their opinions on certain topic. Well, since malas nak tulis about what kinda talk that we had before, just to say that it was fun and i love you guys like LOTS AND LOTS. The point is we survive, rite Faz?!

To Faz syg :

When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal. ~Author Unknown

To Nawal darling:

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. ~Kay Knudsen

To Mar bby:

Love is what you've been through with somebody. ~James Thurber, quoted inLife magazine, 1960

to shapoko:

There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with. ~Harry Crews

Song for tonight:

Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody when the night's so long
'Cause there is no guarantee that this life is easy

Yeah, when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I, I look at you

When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home anymore
That's when I, I, I look at you

When I look at you, I see forgiveness, I see the truth
You love me for who I am like the stars hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I know I'm not alone

Yeah, when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I, I look at you

You appear just like a dream to me
Just like kaleidoscope colors that prove to me
All I need, every breath that I breathe
Don't ya know, you're beautiful

Yeah, yeah, oh, oh
You appear just like a dream to me

shapoko

saya survive

: Bian :

2011-03-05T09:26:00.002+08:00

bianata, bian. biane

if only i can tell you my heart

the remorse filling inside

tears that couldnt be shed

words that shouldnt be said

im sorry

~there is two children playing by the sea~

a girl who can only see the sun

and

a boy who can only see the moon

both of them seems like

they will never see each other

although they're side by side

the sun only comes out during the day

while the moon shines bright at night

so, there there my child

seek only what you want to see

~not what can you see~

:: Bee ::

2011-02-10T16:42:00.004+08:00

Hello there!

Owh what a month it is, although its only February but its really is hectic as if im already a final year student (right hoho) What am i currently doing? Lepaking at the 'Siberia' Library while listening to my favorite korean musics typing some journal that need to be done before sunday is approaching and thinking on how to revise my psychology and human structure n function all together, Aigoo. February is really mean. She doesnt give any chance for me even to breath, everyday has its own agenda and its kiling me. Not only i have all the assignments and CAs but i also have convex to think about. Thats why when i have my vacation, i really do enjoy it to the max because i know that i wont have that pleasure time for myself when i've come back to USMKK.

My head is spinning and i dont know what to do cuz there is a lot to think about. Hurm. Glad that i dont have any extra problem to think about like a relationship or some sort muahaha *evil laugh* I miss matric's life really bad. although matric's schedule is packed from morning till 4pm everyday but it doesnt as pack as Univ's schedule huuuhuu. Imagine that i have to wake up every morning and have to face those freaking towering lecture's note. Not to mention the assignments!

yes, pikapompom is busy as a bee!

she's beat up, HELP is NEEDED

:: Sweet ::

2011-02-07T15:46:00.002+08:00

I'm officially a Meaghan Smith's fan

woot woot

the songs are so sweet and cute and sooo me rite now.

Heartbroken is really a cute song but i really like A Little Love and I Know.

so go check it out this chick! Her voice is so soothing and makes my heart flutter at the same time.

:: Break a Bone ::

2011-02-07T14:00:00.002+08:00

Yes people, saya sakit pinggang yg amat sangat

After awhile bearing with my lower back pain, i can't take it any longer. So i decided to stop by at PKP for a check up. The pain people! is killing me!! HELP. Doctor just gave me minyak panas and panadol. She said that if my back still at pain than i have to go for x-ray or meet up with physiotherapist. Aigoo. Yes young people can have back pain as well. So, saya sedang menahan sakit yang amat sgt sekarang because pinggang rase kena twist 360 darjah. sekian saja laporan daripada tempat kejadian :)

pikapompom is having a very painful day.

:: The Arts Of Stalking ::

2011-02-06T15:52:00.003+08:00

SHOCKING!

I found something amazingly shocking hahaha

The power of internet is unlimited and cant be underestimated. With a click tadaaa.., all the informations that you are dying to know just pop up. muahaha. Gratitude to certain someone that teach me the proper way to use the internet and the arts of stalking!. muahaha. Happy happy joy joy! i love you internet. yes, i've become a fan to stalking. gtg, tennis awaits me. Be afraid my friends be very afraid, because you might never know who is searching for you on the internet muahahaha.

pikapompom said: sayang kau tipu tipu aku lagi sayang haha

:: Act Like You Don't Care ::

2011-02-06T14:29:00.003+08:00

Time dalam lab with me redlicious speaky

Waa, I'm wearing my wool knitted sweater and still i'm freezing cold at the library. Owh, you didnt know rite that syafiqah is studying at library now a day. hahaha. Bukan nye study pun, online cari journal for psycho's assignment. Okay first and foremost, my library dont have any view if you are using the laptop's section. Everything is against the wall, and right now i'm staring at the wall which luckily (not) has pictures hanged up there. Not so scenic as it supposed to. Aigoo. I think i want to suggest to the lib to rearrange the laptop section. Sangat bohsan oaky without any scenery. Owh yeah, Nabilah if you are reading this, my library doesnt has any hot guys so i dont have the heart to usha around okay (:

Lately, i'm not with my phone like i used too. I even dont have any energy left to answer that someone phone calls any more. Only that someone lah orang lain saya sungguh rajin reply hahaha evil laugh. Yes, i lied to that certain someone telling that i dont answer anyone calls or text messages haha. Fool. Sape suruh percaya tak? Im tired on entertaining you lah. Please find other people to mess their life with. Its been what 4 years? aiyoo, move one lah. I'm already moving on. Im treating you as a friend only please dont misunderstand my kindness,okay. So thats why I'm acting like i dont care because i really DONT CARE. haha. Saya Evil saya tahu. The only good thing bout you is well ... hmm.. none?

So, while typing this entry i was listening to 2ne1 I dont care song. That song i dedicated to that certain someone hoping that you already learned your lesson for playing with girl's heart hahaha. Betul kate syaz n nabilah, that certain someone is not worth it and i'm destined to have someone much much much better than him.

2ne1 --> I DONT CARE

[CL]

Hey playboy

It’s about time

And your time’s up

I had to do this one for my girls you know

That’s the only way you boys learn

[Minzy]

I can’t ever forgive you for that lipstick on your collar

Every day, your phone’s always off

It doesn’t seem like you’re going to change oh oh

[Dara]

All those girlfriends you call “friends”

Don’t think of me in the same way as them, I won’t let it fly

From now on, do as you want, I’m going to stop caring

For some time I really loved you but oh

[CL]

Sometimes you get drunk, and call me, now it’s 5:30 am

Again you say another girl’s name no

[Bom]

I don’t care, I’ll stop caring about what you’re doing wherever you are

From now on I really don’t care, I’ll get out of the way

From now on don’t come to me and cry, and cling on

cause I don’t care e e e e e e

[Minzy]

cause I don’t care e e e e e e

Boy I don’t care

[Minzy]

Stealing glances at other girl’s legs

You’re so so hopeless

Everyday you take off your couple ring, and secretly go on a blind date

I don’t think that I’ll be able to take it anymore oh oh oh

[Dara]

My friends say that you’re not really worth it

You even went to your wolf-like friends for advice but

I’d rather keep it simple, I’m too good for you

I believed you were my love but oh oh

[CL]

Today you said you were busy, I tried phoning you but

As expected, in the background I heard a girl’s laugh oh no

[Bom]

I don’t care, I’ll stop caring about what you’re doing wherever you are

From now on I really don’t care, I’ll get out of the way

From now on don’t come to me and cry, and cling on

cause I don’t care e e e e e e

[Dara]

cause I don’t care e e e e e e

Boy I don’t care

[Minzy]

Because of you, I remember crying till dawn boy

I regret every time I think about you when my heart was too easy, huh boy?

I’m too good to throw away and too boring to have

You should’ve treated me better when we were together why are you clinging to me now

[CL]

You fooled me with your lies hundreds of times

From today on, I’ll be a bad girl who makes guys cry

Now without a single tear, I’ll laugh at you

Loser who’s inside a game called love

Get on your knees and take me back

If not, get out of my sight right now

[Bom]

I don’t care, I’ll stop caring about what you’re doing wherever you are

From now on I really don’t care, I’ll get out of the way

From now on don’t come to me and cry, and cling on

cause I don’t care e e e e e e

Boy I don’t care

:: I'm Breaking My Rules Again::

2011-01-16T22:48:00.004+08:00

:: I Got You Under My Skin::

160111 today is very tiring day fullstop. Ran 2.4 km like crazy still i cant keep up with the others aigoo. The best part is being able to finish it and spending time at padang with me friend. Guess what. I saw Him. Aigoo. Aigoo. cant breath, die! haha. dramaqueen shapoko. Yeah dream on Poko, no matter how hard you try. *sigh*

lagu pada hari ini -----> Cant nobody 2ne1

cant nobody hold us down.

just take it to the top.

pikapompom penat nak mampos

:: Hold ::

2011-01-16T08:16:00.005+08:00

Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to

If there is words to describe how I feel, then maybe it will makes me easier to say them. Dont you ever had or have a situation at which you are trying to say something to someone that you dont have the courage to say directly to them. Instead you keep on twisting around with words that you end up straggle. I have something to say to certain someone. I really kept those words up until now. Up until now i still dont think I have the courage to say it to that certain people who had/ have tainted my heart with anger, sorrow and disloyalty. Yes, i'm afraid that when i say those words not only I'm hurting them but it will hurt me too. I'm afraid of losing someone that is very dear to me although i already lost them. When you are facing the truth about the situation that you are upfront with, you only have two choices, to say what you really wanted to say all these years or just keep you mouth shut for the rest of your life.

So, Here I go. To my ex- besties NF. Maybe you dont know this but i really respected you. I really looked up to you for your kindness and gentleness. There had been where I'm at dead end and you never hesitated to help me. You showed me what friendship really meant and you also showed me what betrayal is. I never talk bad about you or lobbying our friends to take side. They already know the truth behind all of this and you never admit that it was your fault to begin with. You never call or sms us telling why you always skipped school and the fact that you lie saying you are staying at home studying. You didnt studied at home, you are busy dating your freaking good for nothing buayafriend. You think we dont know, we KNEW. What hurts the most is when you didnt back us up. You even dare to think that it was our fault that the juniors are messing with us. You didnt want to hear the truth but instead you innocently believe the juniors words than your own bestfriend. You even spread rumors about us. What the hell are you thinking. Are you stupid or what. We are your bestfriends. We never lie about something that serious. You even called me OBSESSED. What the fish woman. Yes i am obsessed at certain someone at that time but hearing those words are coming from you, it really is ripping my heart. I hope you are happy spreading even more lies about your ex-bestfriends who done nothing wrong except having faith in you. Years may be passed, but the wound is still visible.

Next, to NMS. Yes, i've also keeping a lot of words to say to you. You know i always see you as someone who amazed me. You amazed me with your charm, your kind words, your innocent, your personality and your charming smile. You bewitched me. Dazzling your kind words to cover your lies. My feeling is true, yet you tainted it with hatred that is so dark, you couldnt see the bottom of it. You dont even know how it feel and yet i still have hope in you. As stupid as i am, i know that this feeling will fade away and how true is that. I just wanted us to stay friend. I cant developed the same feeling for you like i used too anymore because you are not worth it. You know what they say 'what goes around, comes around'

and last but not least to awak. No i dont have the courage yet. So let time be with us. Until then.

pikapompom

meluahkan perasaan

160111

:: New Year. Disaster Alert ::

2011-01-11T23:02:00.005+08:00

:: Shapoko is ignored by the world, she ignored them back! ::

Hello beautiful people. Yes, i know im such a lazy bum to update my dying blog. But hey here i am typing word by word of what im thinking now. The fact is i really am lazy to blab around and telling people what it is in my freaking stressful mind. Well, let just say that 2011 is bringing a lot more than i have ever expected. Semester 2 is a tough one. Juggling between studies and ko-k activities are mad i kid you not. I have not started yet my revisions at me room because i keep on drowning myself with CONVEX. Why did i ever decided to join this, why why why. hahaha. gila terus. Convex is for crazy people like me. Convex will haunt you until you dig your own grave. I am freaking tired managing this 'wild child'. There is only 6 of us to handle this MEGA event for the next sem during our second year.The promotion is going great, i think. They keep on compliment me for my interpersonal skill. Well thank you but i dont find it something that i can be proud of but i am truly grateful. Having such persona and skills and also confident is something that comes naturally for me. Maybe that is my talent after all, my ONLY talent. haha.

I still remember my matrix's lecturer said that when you already in university, u will have a lot of free time and you guys will enjoy your campus life. Well mem, you are so wrong. You are responsible for telling such lie to us who suffer a lot at Univ rather than at Matrix. My head is spinning, my heart is getting ready to burst, my eyes are freaking tired, my body can't handle it any longer. Aigoo. I wish she tell us that we need to enjoy our matrix's life because when you are studying at the university of your own choices, you need to sacrifice your time for something absurd like having enough merit points to stay inside the campus or you have to stay out of the campus. I hate this kind of law. Why can you just build enough hostels for us. Yes, im mad and tired and nearly giving up. But i know that at the end of every hardship there will be always something worthwhile. Owh USM. Owh 2011. Owh Convex. Owh shapoko.

Tired is my middle name.

shapoko has a new helios!
\(^0^)/

::I Cheated Myself::

2010-06-26T17:38:00.002+08:00

Yeah, well, sort of, might be, wtvr

Most people find its hard to hear the truth, or to say what they really think of.People afraid to speak truthfully, maybe because they're actually considering about our feeling, you know.Well, maybe we want to hear the truth, we want to say what we wanted to say, and we wanted to be ourselves all along but hey hear this, people don't care who you are! They don't even have the heart to know the real you. All they ever care is, how you benefit them some way or the other.Correct me if I'm wrong but thats the fact. Okay not all people as selfish as the others but the percentage of these decent people is like what, 30% out of 100.

And maybe we not as good as we think we are. Well, i'm not as good as people think i am, i'm not that clever nor as genius as my siblings. I'm not pretty and charming. I am ordinary, I AM NOT PERFECT, got it? Sometimes i wonder, what actually people want from me, what do you want from me, what do i want from myself. What do i want from myself? wealth? love?

Firstly, it is not " what do i want FROM myself ", it is ' what do i want FOR myself '.

I desperately want to be with my family always.Yeah, i really do. I don't care how much we're on each other nerves because that is how family work, don't they. We don't please each other every time, we laugh, cry, argue, and simply just chill around with each other telling lame jokes or old old stories.The fact that family existed is to be happy around each other, feel needed, love and care. So, i asked myself again, what do i want for myself. I want my family, not just any other family, but the Saharudin's family.

I also want to pursuit my ambition, to have an ambition itself makes me proud of myself. I know what i want, and who i wanted to be. Having one helps me to work hard and put things aside. I may not know what future brings me but i now that what ever it is, i pray that it is for the best. Going to Kelantan this Thursday, well i really dont know how to response to it. Maybe i can not imagine living at Kelantan for 4 years now but im sure that i'll survive there, well i hope so lah. Being so far apart from my family is really hard. Yes, i've done it before, for a year during my matrix's life at Changlun Kedah, but it is still hard though. I dont know what to expect. I dont know how i might response to the changes, both cultural and language. And most of all, i dont know what to expect for myself.All i know is that study is on top of my chart. I want to score with flying colours. I want to make my family proud of me, my parents and my siblings. I want to be proud of my own achievements.

I also want for me to be happy. Genuinely happy for myself. Is it so hard to find happiness in your life? I want to be happy. Not for other people but for me myself and I. It is not worth it to be happy for others, called me selfish or whatever, doesnt it makes you look pathetic. Believing that you are actually happy for others, while you're crying your eyes out late at night, blaming your own fate that you were born to feel happy for others, not for yourself. My advice is find your own happiness first before you just pretending to be happy for others. Later, you can genuinely feel happy for everyone, including yourself. Problem solves.

pikapompom

heartless as the pebbles at the shore.

:: Capital C, as in Camera ::

2010-06-20T09:51:00.005+08:00

Receiving data

.........................

figuring

..........

ok, attach kat sini lah

Name: Canon Powershot S90

awww, it comes in black, thats what i call sexy

wide LCD, no need spec hehe

lets go digital,

and for sure S90 is up to expectation

producing flawless picture :)

conclusion

.................

well, i've been comparing S90's picture with other cameras, and i've fallen in love with S90. It produces beautiful, vibrant pictures not to mention it captures the vividness of the panorama, as if the picture was drawn. AWWW, totally in love with S90, owh tidak!

Attention

.................

Kak naz :)

the winner is Canon Powershot S90

The End

(^_^)

~ pikapompom ~

penat cuci kereta dgn kak tira+batu2 mama+cuci porch= sister's day & satisfactory

I'm Back!

2010-06-19T12:10:00.005+08:00

Yessiriee, i'm back ( sort of ) ngeh =.='

So, here goes. Well, its been a year and a half i think since my last post. I've been busy with study and .. hurm well most of it study lah, matrix's life is a human's treadmill, i can't stop running and trying to jungle my studies with my personal life all together. I mean i dont have that personal 'personal' life, ngehh! yeah right pika (^_^)(Y)

A year at Changlun, Kedah Darul Aman, reality hits me (hard). I've never been to boarding school or some sort but here i am, estranged, clueless, stuck at KMK for a whole year. First thing that i have to get use to is -----> ROOMMATES. yeah, the only roommate i have is my sister, Kak Naz :) but then not that i have one but three other roommates whom i barely know. People used to say we judge a person from our first impression and end up we're wrong bout them (NOT!). Let me tell u this, when i judge a person, i often right bout them haha. My roommates are great most of the time but sometime well ...... they can be such a pain in the err u-know-where.

I think human being is a very complex creature. Why? i dont know either. There is a quotation from my (kind of) friend's uncle. He said that ' Life is simple but human make it complicated', how true is that huh, surprise2. I dont want to brag about anything but i'm glad that i'm a KL-rian (some sort lahh kan) and im also glad that i've been to other states to get to know about the culture and the fact that some people aint born with a silver spoon like most of us. All of these, help me from cultural shock. Well im not shock at all seeing other KMK-rians acting like rusa masuk kampung ( betul ke aku guna pepatah nie ngee) hahaha, especially those from the pedalaman (im not trying to be rude though, its a fact!)

Why lah i talk about this, like u guys dont know better right!
Kolej Matrikulasi Kedah, changlun, the place that test my innerself, my belief and a place where i found precious jewels that teach me about true friendship! I'm glad i took this path, no regret for sure.

Its another phase of my life and now im moving on, USM here i come!

My name is Syafiqah Saharudin
Im 19, and im a USMrian :)

~pikapompom~
peace!

Come And Go

2009-05-08T09:22:00.004+08:00

Friday,
080509
currently: Counting Down Her Remaining Days At KL o.0
This entry is dedicated to all the people that meant a lot to Syafiqah Saharudin

Hey There :)
Yeah, i know its been awhile since i posted my last blog entry.Times fly i guess. This Sunday i will be going to Changlun, Kedah to further my studies. I will be staying there for a year, and trust me, a year is a long time for me personally. Thinking back those days when my besties and I while we were at school vividly lingers in my mind. FYI, i knew a lot of student at my school but only a few that stick together. My dearly sahabat bai, partner in crime and my very best friend, Syaza is one of them. Syaza is like a mirror to me, she is my significant other but definitely has her own identity and personality. She is my stone while we were at school and still is my forever ever stone. She taught me a lot about basically everything. Syaz is the cooler part of me haha no doubt about that though :) She listen and gives me brilliant advices. Why i love her a lot, cuz she is a part of me, a very valuable, precious, extraordinary and rare part of me. I will be missing you dearly. Though we are apart, but believe me beb that you will always be in my mind and heart.
Wish me luck at Changlun and pray for my safeness as i will be praying for yours also :)

Another best friend of mine is Izzat or zati, but i called her izzat ( dah terbiase, people thought that izzat is a guy but nope she is my beloved girlfriend ) Syaz and i always bully her at school cuz she just plain nice, so nice she did everything that we asked her to haha sorry beb :)
Izzat is the quietest among us but believe me she is not that quiet hehe. But when she talks, she will give us tonnes of word of wisdom :) peribahasa lah kata kata hikmah lah, brilliant opinions and advices. Although she is far more smaller than us, but she proved to us that she can't be bullied that easy hohoho.Will be missing her words of wisdom and bullying her lah kan :)

Anis is The Advicer to all of us. Although, i'm not that close to her like the others but still she meant a lot to me :) Anis is one of the kind, when she talks, she will let us think for a moment about it, her meaning is very deep, too deep sometimes you just wanted to think about it back at home.I still can remember her words til today and forever :)

To my dearest cousin, Deba, we been through a lot of stuff since we were Little, we fight, we argue, we laugh, we share each other secrets and a lot more. I hope you study smart and hard. I know you can do it. I'll always pray for your success and happiness. Adeh sedeyh lah pulak. Please pray for my success also at Changlun. If free, jom mai kedah melawat kak Fika :)
huhu just message me if you wanted to talk or wtvr kay

And to NMS, my own superhero haha haha *blush blush, the only guy friend that really2 meant a lot to me :) He taught me a lot. Remember your promises as i will remember mine. I gi setahun jer, mcm yang u ckp :)

Lastly, to my beloved FabFamily, haish kesedihan melanda daa. adik will try my very best to study as hard as i could so dapat pointer yg terbaek dari ladang :) pray for my success and safeness kay. huhu T.T

So long and good bye :(

pkapompom
empty but heavy heart

ps: nak letak gambar2 tapi takleh upload, waceh habes :(

:: AWAY, bebeh :) ::

2009-04-11T08:46:00.003+08:00

NOTICE PENTING :)
(penting ker hurm...)

yup2 saye pikapompom away selama 3 minggu
dan saye malas nak update blog
kalau saye rajin saye update lah kay :)
thx :)

p.s : saye akan update tapi bukan skrg psl tgh takder mood nak menatap skrin komputer ni :)

Follow Your Heart

2009-03-12T15:58:00.003+08:00

This picture was taken last year, after we had finished our last paper, we were all very happy, and most of all we just glad that SPM was finally over.

12Th March 2009

DupDapDupDap

waiting
waiting
still waiting

Jalan ulang alik depan bilik guru, kantin, toilet, tapak perhimpunan EVERY WHERE!

then Puan Rabiatul (zat's mom @ our teacher) came to us with a smile, she said 'Along, ibu dah tau result, syafiqah pun, ckgu dah tau dh!' (still smiling) Zat rushed to her mom and Puan Rabiatul gave her a hug and congrats her. She just smile wobbly, i wonder whether her results was okay, and both mother and daughter came to us (Syaz and I), and i asked her 'so, camne, okey ker result?' Zat 'Emm, okey lar (now her smile just turned sour, adeh) 'berapa?' zat '3 jer ( she just plain sad, yeah i know how it feels) 'okey lar tu zat, at least ade A ( smile ) and Syaz and I gave her a warm hug and then Puan Rabiatul said to me 'Syafiqah awak nyer result bagus! (smile) awak dapat 5 A'

My
Heart
Just
Stop
At
That
Moment

'err ala cikgu saye tak nak tau dulu'
Syaz was the only one that doesn't know her result yet, mane tak nyer waktu tu baru pukul 9 lebih, the results were supposed to be out at 11 a.m, so since zat knew her result there was no thrill on finding her result like anyone else, and i just wanted to see the actual result to confirm what i just heard from Puan Rabiatul. People started to come and we managed to catch up with some of our long-time-no-see friends.

Then the moment begun, the Dewan Utama was opened and all of the teachers welcomed us to the Dewan Utama. The thing that surprised us ex-student are there is a little talk before we can find out our result. Puan Aishah (Penolong Kanan tadbir) gave us a surprise where she called out the students who managed to score straight As,. There is 12 of our friends that their hard work did pay out, and there is 3 very bright students who scored straight A1. Then after all the whoas and cheers, it is now our time to celebrate out result (haha celebrate ngan titisan air mata hehehe) When i saw my result i was just, speechless. Some parts of me were glad that it turned out to be good, and other part just felt very disappointed that i didn't achieved my target to score 6 or 7 As at least.

I took my time to realise that i managed to score 5 A1, 4 B3 and 1 very lucky C5 (add math that is) and be grateful on what i have and glad that i can now move on to my next destination, my new priority, my soon-to-be-college-life. Yeah like my mother said to me (waktu tu tengah sangat2 disappointed) SPM just a stepping stone for us, and after all i did my very best.
Why did i felt very disappointed?
1. I didn't achieved my target
2. I was SUPPOSED to make my parents and family glad and proud at the award ceremony IF i being able to score at least 6 As
3. I wanted to be a good example to all of my juniors, especially him.

BUT now it doesn't matter though, because
1. I should be proud of myself and be very very grateful
2. My parents are always proud of what their children have/had achieved, and they love us no matter what
4.My siblings are the best and awesome in the whole wide world. They are also happy for me and cheer me up when i was down.
3. i have super duper friends who always right besides me in happiness or sadness
4.All of my junior congrats me and they are very happy to hear about it
6.Most of all, he always proud of me and frequently says to me that he will no matter what the outcome is, support me til the end :) hehehe *cahaya terang benderang :)

So, i'm now very proud of myself and my results. Just think positive and held your head up high cause u had done your very best with your own hardwork. Its a battle, and you've won it :)

pikapompom
bersemangat nak masuk Uni :)
hehe

:: Inside Out, Outside In ::

2009-03-09T20:04:00.004+08:00

(I put this pic up as it is very very cute and sweet :) )

:: Inside Out Outside In ::

Salam :)

Its been a while since I posted a new entry.Im busy as a bee right now, i've been taking my driving license last Saturday and didn't have the mood to write (to type to be exact), not that i don't have any idea to write on, but the fact that my SPM result would be out this thursday just drained my entire mood just to do about anything. But i've to do SOMETHING right? Then i figured that there is something that i could write about.

Last Saturday, i was as grumpy as ever , haha because 'pakcik keta' was late, AGAIN! i should be used to the fact that the ol'man was old and his watch was 10 minutes late. Last time he was 30 minutes late to pick me up, but hey he broke the old record this time, when he arrived at my house 1 hour later haha congratulations 'pakcik keta' u just won yourself a new watch :)
I just don't want to be rude or whatever, so i just kept quite (as long as he arrived, right? safe and sound)

We then later picked up another two boys (am I the only one that fusing around about 'pakcik keta' being late or what, haish =.=) Amir (i knew him before as we've been going to the 6 hours car thingie together and he is such a sweet heart ) and Haziq ( frankly i don't know who he is, but from my first impression, he looks like a 'player' yeah you know what i meant) It was an hour ride from Kepong to Cheras, and god it was dang boring, i'm dying from boredom. When we arrived at the Imkeda car test ground or whatever you called it, we were exhausted.'Pakcik keta' offered us to take our breakfast together with him but then we have better things to do like going to the office and photostate our i.c and license L. As usual i act like the 'mom' haha (typical pika), uruskan the photostate thingie.

After 'pakcik keta' had his brunch, we off to the parking lot and 3 pointer, first up to take the test is Haziq. The thing about Haziq is he is surely can't stop talking. He even can't shut his mouth for about 5 minutes.And i'm the 'lucky' one that had to sit beside him and 'pakcik keta' had assigned me to be the conductor haha apelah pakcik ni if berbayar tak per gak hehe. I never imagine that this konon cool kinda guy is damn talkative. Did i mentioned that Haziq is funny also haha. Yeah yeah typical girls would likely to have a crush on him but not me, nah uh. He is surely charming, funny and stuff but the fact that he is not my type and most important i'm taken hehe :)
He would likely fit to be my guy friend only.
On the other hand, there is Amir. Well the thing about Amir is he is completely the opposite of Haziq. He is much much much more calmer and quiter. He has his own thing when it is come on approching girls, he played it safe.
but the most common thing about this both guy is i can talk to both of them without being awkward and awfully shy. They are easy to talk with, funny, annoying in a good way (they make me smile like crazy) and most of all they treat you like you treat them ( fair la tu)

I found that i am much more comfortable talking to a guy then a girl when we first meet. I don't know why, though. Is it because, us girls are more protective, private person. But i think i surely am a very friendly, open-minded and fun person. So, i described myself as not-the-typical-girl, i am what i am. I treat people like they treat me, if they just plain rude, then i don't give a damn.

Talking about rudeness, there is one person today that just 'made my day'. My parents were out and that left me own my own in the house as i don't have the energy to go out today (mane tak nyer nak dekat-dekat dengan result hehe). While watching Diary AF (tak der channel menarik dah), i was surprised by a phone call. Then the rudeness story begun...

Pika: Hello
Kelly: ... ello...naziar ade *note that this dumbdumb put the phone on loudspeaker
Pika: hello, mama takder ni kak dila eyh? haha *i thought it was my sister cuz she always trying to call my mom Datin, Puan Sri etc
Kelly: Helo, mak u ade? *this time the dumbdumb actually talk without that lousy loudspeaker
Pika: Mak saye takder?
Kelly: Bapak u ade?
Pika tak der, ni sape bercakap ni?
Kelly: ni dari aircond service.
Pika: Aircond service, dari mane ye? *pelik lah as my mom didn't say anything about aircond service thingie.
Kelly: Dari Panasonic, u punyer baPAK ade ke takder? * Dumbdumb start to play the kelly words and the rudeness begin.
Pika: Panasonic err, u nie sape ye sebenarnye? *keraguan dah mula dah
Kelly: Hey, hello! u ade pakai itu aircond kan? ni kami org mau kasi service itu aircond, u kasi bapak u punyer number!!
Pika: Ye ader aircond tapi u nak buat ape ngan bapak saye punyer number?
Kelly: U ader ker tak u punyer bapak punyer number?
Pika: U call balik lah kalau u nak cakap same bapak saye.
Kelly: Taboleh taboleh, ni office tutup pkul 3, i kene call sekarang, so u just kasi u punyer bapak punyer number lah, sekarang!!!! * she using the high note, and marah giler2
Pika: U cakap sopan sopan sikit tak boleh ker? *starting to be the hulk
Kelly: okey2 u ader ker tak number bapak u? *still marah
Pika: ADE!
Kelly: so u mau kasi ker tak itu number?
Pika: TAKNAK!
Kelly: Kalau takank u tutup ini telefon lah!
Pika: DUSHHH! *letak telefon nagn ganas.

Aftermath, i was damn furious, angry, disrespected urghh i just wanted to blow up. I just wanted to yell on top of my lung and scream in front of that dumbdumb face. I wanted to maki hamun her as much as i could. I called Kak Naz as i wanted to cool down and i have to call someone (it is just me) adn told her everything. And thats that. If the same person would call the house, if she dare, im surely won't be that nice anymore. I just say to her Fu*k Off (sorry for the french) haha
Dah lah rude, call rumah orang pastu marah2, haish panas jer telinga dengar!
If she dare to call again, then it is my pleasure to use my words correctly, just swear haha.

pikapompom
banyak benda berlaku
tapi the ultimate is yet to come

NightMare! HuHu

2009-03-06T17:46:00.005+08:00

Are You Ready?!!

Salam :)

To all my dear friends who are waiting for their SPM result, are you ready, are you sure you are really really really ready to face the truth, nothing but the truth! Actually I'm the one that have been chicken out for the past two weeks. I can't sleep, i can't think of anything else except that the RESULT WOULD BE OUT THIS THURSDAY (12Th March 2009) Mama said i shouldn't be nervous or anything as i had done my best during the exam last year, let bygone be bygone (katanya!). BUT how can you not think about it, and not be nervous, scared, wanting to throw up etc at the same time? hurm i wonder whether there is a person who just doesn't care about his/her results, ada ke?

I knew that the result would be out (at first 13th March) this Thursday by Ustazah because Syaz and I were visiting the School last month for fun. We were havocking the school and out of no where Ustazah was standing next to us and said 'Kamu tau kan result keluar bile?' and both of us just stood there, shocked/ terrified haha. The chills start to creep up in us, and we just basically didn't say anything for the rest of the day.Cuak? jangan cerita lah, it is more than just cuak, it is EVERYTHING. I tried not to think about it, trying to fill my time with something fun and err useful? haha but surely enough it doesn't work ( dah agak dah!). I keep thinking about it, and starting to digest the facts that it will be out soon, and i get more and more nervous, excited etc. Let me put it like this, it is like waiting for the premier of a movie that you really really wanted to see, but i don't want to see 'this' kinda movie hahaha (ayat favourite kau tau-tau jelah)

So, i got no where to run or hide, i told myself that I HAVE TO FACE IT, it doesn't matter whether my result turn out to be bad ( i hope not, Ya Allah tolong lah jgn) or eventually good. Like the old Malay's saying 'Buang yang Keruh, Ambil Yang Jernih' ( ada kene mengena kah!)It is tough but you have to face it, fear factor honey! hehe. I'm not the kind of person who hide her feelings, so i tend to annoy people around me with my uneasy feeling, nervousness, cuak-ness, pity them but there is one person who told me that i can tell him anything, any problems what so ever and he told me that he will always be there for me, and I'm so touched by that. He is the only guy that was not annoyed by my whine and stuff (hehe itu yang sayang lebih tu :) ngee) Yup, your guess are right, it is my little Yorkie :) The fact that we'll be at each other side always, make us trust, need and love each other even more hehe (jiwang jap)

Tapi yang tak boleh belah nyer, I had a dream that my friends and I have to repeat our SPM again because our result, SUCKS! adeh ni yang menambahkan ke-cuak-kan nie :(

So, be ready dear friends
On 12Th March 2009
This Thursday
Our fate will be determined
But, Are You Sure
You Are Ready?

pikapompom
ke-cuak-an melanda
tidur tak lena
makan kenyang sentiasa
hehe

:: Melodi. Kembali. Memori ::

2009-03-04T12:05:00.005+08:00

~Pika's Short Story~
::Melodi. Kembali. Memori::

Indah
Terasa indah
Bila kita terbuai dalam alunan cinta
Sedapat mungkin terciptakan rasa

Satu persatu kenderaan lalu, meninggalkan kepulan karbon monoksida menjadi jejak. Matanya tak berubah arah, tetap tertumpu pada jalan raya yang kian sibuk itu. Kia hanya mampu melihat, namun tak dapat menikmati merdu kicauan burung-burung gembira berterbangan bebas di langit biru. Mungkin bagus juga fikir Kia, dia tak dapat mendengar, tak mahu dia mendengar kata-kata dusta yang kian menjadi melodi orang-orang zaman ini, ataupun propaganda-propaganda menjadi virus minda, tak dapat di bezakan masyarakat samada benar mahupun auta sahaja.Bibir hanya berkata-kata, tapi di hati lain pula bicaranya. Kia bersyukur dia di lahirkan begitu, ada hikmahnya.

Biarpun dia tak mampu mendengar namun Kia boleh membaca gerak lembut bibir orang- orang di sekeliling nya, tapi hal ini mengambil masa untuk Kia memahami apa yang cuba di sampaikan oleh mereka. Jalan raya kini dah tak sesibuk pagi tadi. Hanya ada beberapa buah kenderaan saja. Hati Kia kini lesu, letih menunggu. Kia bangun dari tingkap biliknya, dia ingin ke dapur, mengambil seteguk dua air bagi menghilangkan dahaga.

'Kia!'

Tersentak hati Kia apabila dia baru sahaja mahu bergerak turun ke dapur. Hatinya berdegup kencang. Mungkinkah dia sudah kembali, ahh tak mungkin kata Kia sendirian. Namun di turutkan juga gerak hatinya untuk meninjau keluar. Degup jantung Kia semakin rancak, tak sangka pulang juga dia! Lirik senyuman mula terukir, hatinya kini seolah-olah terhenti. Mahu sahaja Kia menjerit namanya

'Ali!'

Bayang tinggi seorang lelaki mendekati pintu pagar rumah Kia. Orangnya kemas, hitam manis dan mempunyai senyuman yang menawan.Lesung pipit terbentuk mudah bila dia berkata-kata atau pun senyum sahaja. Kia tak sabar untuk berjumpa Ali. Pintu pagar auomatik terbuka luas, seperti memberi salam selamat datang kepada Ali. Mata Kia berkaca, tak dapat menahan rasa rindu dia pada Ali. Kia berdiri kaku lalu membuat isyarat tangan 'selamat kembali Ali'. Ali tersenyum melihat gelagat kekok Kia yang bertahun lamanya tidak berjumpa. Dia faham apa yang cuba disampaikan oleh Kia.

'terima kasih Kia, Kia sihat?'

Kia hanya mengangguk tanda ya, dia menjemput Ali masuk namun di tolak sopan. 'Tak mengapa lah Kia, lagipun tak manis jika Ali masuk berdua-duaan dengan Kia, apa pula jiran-jiran cakap nanti' Lalu mereka duduk di buaian lama, melihat dedaun gugur menyentuh bumi. Kia teringat kembali memori ketika dia bersama Ali suatu ketika dahulu. Pertama kali Ali ingin menyapa nya. Ali sangka Kia sombong, jual mahal, tetapi apabila dia mendapati Kia bisu dan pekak, hatinya berubah.Ali lah orang yang paling rapat dengan Kia selain ibu dan bapanya. Ali jugalah orang yang paling Kia sayang. Tapi semua itu tak berguna jika Kia seorang sahaja yang berperasaan begitu.

Kia tahu Ali sudah berpunya, tapi salahkah Kia menyayangi Ali. Mana tak nya, Ali seorang sahaja yang mahu memahami dan mendekati sibisu dan pekak ini.Ali tahu perasaan Kia, tapi dia tak mahu berkata apa-apa, takut menyinggung hati lembut gadis itu.Ya, memang betul Ali sayang Kia tapi Ali sudah mengikat janji dengan gadis pilihan ibu bapanya. Mereka hanya duduk di situ, diam tak berkata. Ali menyanyi sebuah lagu, lagu untuk Kia.
Walaupun dia tahu Kia tak mampu mendengar nya, tapi dia tahu hati Kia mampu merasanya, mengetahui isi hati Ali.

Tetaplah menjadi bintang dilangit
Agar cinta kita akan abadi
Biarlah sinarmu tetap menyinari alam ini,
Agar menjadi saksi cinta kita
Berdua...
Sudah..
Lambat sudah...
Kini semua harus berakhir
Mungkin inilah jalan yang terbaik
Dan kita mesti relakan kenyataan ini

Kini Kia duduk sendirian di buaian itu. Titisan air mata berderai membasahi pipi. Jalan raya kini sunyi.Tak sebuah kenderaan pun lalu, seperti tahu Kia ingin bersendiri. Terletak sebuah sampul surat di sebelahnya, tempat dimana Ali duduk sebentar tadi. Kia tak mahu membukanya, kerana dia tahu isi kandungan sampul surat itu, tertulis raja sehari. Mungkin Kia bisu dan pekak, tetapi Kia juga ada hati dan perasaan. Tinggallah sampul surat itu di buaian, tak terusik oleh sesiapa pun, berhujan berpanas tak di endah kan, dibiar mereput, hilang begitu sahaja.

pikapompom
(syaz ckp aku jiwang, maybe larh ade sikit jiwang haha)
Kredits tu lirik lagu Padi Kasih tak sampai
sebagai inspirasi.

:: A Better World ::

2009-03-03T15:09:00.004+08:00

Salam :)

When I was on my way to The Curve, Kota Damansara, I was staring at the sky and wonder why the weather was perfectly beautiful, heart warming after a massive downfall. It was raining heavily yesterday and at the end of the day, the sun will eventually turn up and the grey sky would fade out. It is mind boggling, well my mind that is boggling. Whenever something bad happens, we would automatically be sad and down but don't you ever wonder that after you felt miserable, the next day or after an hour or two, you will be back on your feet, feeling better, rejuvenate, and more mature on handling stuff like that.Bad things happen to teach us a matter or two.

Take me for example. My parents was not at home for 3 days because they wanted to see Ziyyad (my nephew) at Penang before they're going to do Umrah this April. Therefore, they dropped me at my grandma's house for awhile, frankly i was delighted that i could stay at grandma's for 3 days. Well, i had my own agenda that is. The first night was perfectly normal, nothing odd happens but the next day, really really is a very very bad day. That night, my uncle wanted to go to Tesco for some household shopping spree. So all of us ( Uncle, Abg Hadi, Kak Sa, Deba and me) are going there as we would buy a lot of stuff. To make the long story short, i didn't tell my mother that i would go out with them as i thought that she wouldn't mind. Mama called me and found out that i was going to tesco (actually by the time she called me, we were trying to find a car park) I thought she was not mad at me. After deba and i had done our shopping list, we were on our way to Curve as Deba wanted to buy some stuff for her photoshot the next day ( at Daiso), and on my up to the escalator, i slipped my left foot and tadaa i twisted my ankle in a very weird way, and as a result it is swollen, turning to blue black. I was horrified by the fact that i injured my ankle (but i have to stay calm, because i don't want to scare Deba). I was in agony for about an hour and a half. I tried to stay calm and trying to feel nothing. By the time we're back at home, i pulled my socks out, and found out that it worsened than before. Kak Sa was shocked and said ' Pika, bengkak betul kaki pika ni'. Hearing that i turned blue, thinking that i might had broken my own leg. Deba was my doctor that night (the fact that she is in PBSM, does help a lot), tuam-ing my swollen leg with ices. My aunt wanted to take me to the hospital but i had to turn down the offer cuz i wanted to wait for my parents to come back home.

They didn't know about my leg until the next morning.Mama was just being a mom. I don't know how to describe the feeling that when my parents had came back home, they didn't say or ask a word about my leg. It is my fault that i didn't tell them where was i going to. Mama just said
' Tulah kamu, pergi mane-mane tak bagitau mama'.Mama and Baba ( i assumed) was mad and disappointed in me. I felt so stupid and useless and also heart broken by their reaction towards my twisted leg. I didnt say much that night, i don't want to say anything to anyone. I just wanted to be alone.

The next day, Mama and Baba took me to the doctor. Mama accompanied me to see the doctor.While the doctor checked my ankle, i screamed a lil bit. Suddenly Baba was standing at the door and said 'Sakit ker, tadi baba dengar kamu jerit'. At that moment, i knew that although they act like they didnt care, they actually do care.I was touched. I reminded myself that on that day onward, i will tell my parents where would i go out and with whom.

So, i guess bad things do happen to teach us a lesson or two. There is saying 'What goes around, comes around'. It is like karma you know!
Baba said to me that ' sekarang baru kamu tau sihat lagi bagus dari sakit, kn?'

I agreed with Baba. Now i have to be patient handling this killing pain and i laugh at myself that i walk like an OKU. Bro and Mama make a very sengal joke about me, my bro said 'Eyh, sekarang boleh lah kite parking kat tempat OkU, jom adik gi OU! senang skit parking HAHA!'
Mama said (waktu tengah cari parking kat Ikea) 'Ba, parking je kat tempat OKU, ni ha org kat belakang ni kan jalan tengkak-tengkak mcm org cacat hehe'

Well, to be honest i was not offended by their jokes, cuz i found them really is funny.

So, you guys keep in mind that, every Little bad stuff happens or what so ever, at the end there will be something good also. Like a rainy day, the sun will show up after the rain (i love rainy day, tido baik punyer). The grey sky will be blue back :) Just think positive lah! Allah kan Maha Adil.

Pikapompom
trying to ease the pain
so she can drive this Thursday :)
hehe

Starting From Square One :)

2009-03-02T20:29:00.002+08:00

Salam :)

Before I start out my blog entry for the first time here at blogger, i would like to thank my dear readers from Myspace ( if there any lah hehe ) for spending your time reading my blog or in other word my 'bebelan(s)' here at Blogger as i would eventually stop blogging at Myspace because there are too many distraction at Ms.

So, I realised that i would be starting out this new blogging site from nothing and trying to feel comfortable writing out my thoughts and views here.It is weird and slightly uncomfortable to be out of your zone as I was a not-that-famous-blogger at Myspace hoho (perasan jap). I wanted to spread out my blogging skill a bit wider than usual, hoping that I could improve on my English writing skill hehe. So, let me warned you now that there will be a lot of grammatical error in my blog. Any advices or views or anything are welcome here ( Bagilah kritikan yang membina atau pun pendapat yang boleh di guna pakai )

And also, I would blog in Bahasa Malaysia and English, count in as rojak lah kan! hehe

I hope you guys enjoy reading my thoughts and views here at blogger!

cheers
PikaPomPom :)